I, for one, welcome our new ballistic tentacled overlords

Octopus cannon targets McDonalds:
SETE, France - Armed with a high-pressure hose and a bucket of octopi, hundreds of protestors in this Mediterranean town pelted a McDonalds restaurant due to open this week with the slimy seafood.

Between 300 and 500 people gathered on the banks of the Sete canal, across from the fast-food outlet, playing music and yelling anti-junk-food slogans across the water, as police barred them from reaching the restaurant itself.

Aiming the hose across the water, they catapulted fresh octopi -- a local delicacy, known here as the "pouffre" -- towards the town's first McDonalds, which had been set to open on Saturday.

(The accompanying photo is worthless, as it includes neither cannon nor octopi.)

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31 Responses:

  1. martling says:

    No photo? What?!?

    How the fuck does a journalist get away with filing a story like this with no evidence?

    Where was Spider, dammit? :-)

    • pavel_lishin says:

      <3 Spider reference.

      Really, though, what kind of photographer meanders by a cannon shooting octopi at a restaurant and thinks, "No... I'll save my film for something awesome."

      I don't mean to do the standard "boo to the french" thing, but this raises serious doubts about their journalistic and photographic abilities.

  2. baconmonkey says:

    I wonder what Cthulu thinks of all that?
    On one tentacle, McDonnalds is pretty evil, so protesting it might displease him.
    On annother tentacle, acknowledging cephalopodic power by using them as weapons might gain the protestors some degree of mercy.
    But on yet annother tentacle, sacrificing so many octopi like that might incur his wrath.

  3. baconmonkey says:

    also, I believe this is your mandate to write an octopi cannon hack for xscreensaver.

    • tfofurn says:
      glcephcannon: from the XScreenSaver 4.xx distribution (xx-Xxx-2005.)

      Options include: -targetcorporation <arg>,
      -octsize <arg>, -octsperminute <arg>,
      -squidsize <arg>, -squidperminute <arg>
      -splatter <arg>, -slime <arg>
  4. edlang says:

    I'm holding off the submission to the new lords until the Dept. of Homeland Sec. builds a giant squid giant cannon.

    • duskwuff says:

      ...a giant < giant squid > cannon?

      • edlang says:

        Of course! It wouldn't do much good to have normal sized giant squid cannon, would it? If it's not made to be huge the first time around, either the Japanese or the Russians would build one which was bigger, and then the US would collectively suffer small giant squid cannon syndrome as a whole.

        Another seemingly unresolved question: are the octopods shot head first, or leg first?

  5. damiancugley says:

    The french journalist may lose points for not getting decent photos, but the enlish-language translator loses points for not knowing the plural of 'octopus', which is 'octopuses'.



    i think i know what *I* want for christmas.

    • baconmonkey says:

      a bunch of tentacle hentai?

      • actually, yes: heeeeeeentacle.

        if you had been with us at zeit on saturday, you would have heard my newest vow:

        "i am setting up a paypal account RIGHT NOW to save up the funds to get me THREE prehensile tentacles attached....so i can do triple-penetration scenes all by myself."

        half of the table recoiled in horror at the idea, half thought an RPS with 3 extra appendages would triple the...something.

  7. mactavish says:

    Aw, poor octopuses. What a waste. :(

  8. mooflyfoof says:

    that makes me sad because octopuses are really very smart creatures. :/

  9. hatter says:

    I recently encountered a octopoid picture, though it's extraordinarily not-work-safe (excluding normal getouts for works who may be rather more lenient) No, it's not hentai; yes, it is one of th emore bizarre things that the internet has conveyed to me in a while. Screams and whoops of delight, or disparaging mutterings about not using <lj user=jwz>s journal for diseminating such dodgy imagery, will determine whether I should post the link or not.

    the hatter

  10. kaorischild says:

    You posted the Sin City comic convention "trailer" a while back, and it had some interesting responses. When you search for the sin city trailer your journal's pretty high on google's list, so I thought you might be interested in the official trailer that was released today. The link is on this page: http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=19015