fade to gray

Today is the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year. And as of this morning, this is the view from my window:

So much for the dramatic scaffolding-front views! Now they've made the world go away via duct tape and dingy plastic. If the progress that has been made on the other side of the building is any indication, I can expect it to stay this way for six months. I am now having flashbacks to my childhood in the Blighted East, since the current view out the window is pretty much exactly what the sky looked like all year round.

See, apparently my building's roof leaks, and this was understandably upsetting to those people living on the top floor. So the condo association hired someone to fix the roof, and this contractor did that thing that happens in cartoons where the irises of their eyes turn into dollar signs and the musical cue goes "ka-ching!"

"Oh," they said, "we could just plug the leaks in the roof, but you know what would be cool? If instead, we stripped the entire coating off the exterior of the building, wrapped the whole thing in a giant building-shaped condom, and re-plastered it all." They went on to add, "Toxic mold! Asbestos! Lead! Dogs and cats, sleeping together!"

"Two weeks!", they presumably concluded, laughing hysterically.

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27 Responses:

  1. transgress says:

    They taped over your windows?

    You continued walking around naked didnt you?

  2. God, I wish they'd condom *my* roof. There's a floor of apartments above me, but that doesn't apparently stop a mysterious roof leak from dribbling into my living room. I was promised repairs in January; I wait with bated breath and lots of buckets.

  3. endquote says:

    I lived in a building that was covered in plastic for a year. It sucked. They reduced the rent, but not enough. Especially because the scaffolding provided a convenient way for thieves to climb up and steal shit via the door to the balcony.

    Feeling your pain, sir.

  4. thomtoffner says:

    Get a really hot lamp and melt holes in the plastic?

  5. baconmonkey says:

    yeah, likely story.
    We all know that your Window Mexican got tired of seeing you do The Forbidden Dance in the buff, so he put up a "modesty pannel" to protect his retinas.

  6. kchrist says:

    I'm Tom Ridge and I approve of this message.

  7. fantasygoat says:

    Two classic 80's movies references in one post - and totally in context. Bravo, sir.

  8. pavel_lishin says:

    I've got a sure-fire way of making sure the mgmt deals with a roof leak in an expedient manner. Now, it's not a tested method, but I don't see a way it could fail.

    Simply collect the drippage in a bucket. By now, it'll have soaked through at least one roof, collecting all sorts of delightful little things. When the bucket is full, replace it with an empty one, and drive over to your landlord's, and proceed to dump the bucket somewhere near where he lives - balcony, doorstep, bedroom - whatever.

    I think it'd work.

  9. loosechanj says:

    Living together. We've had this discussion before.

  10. cyeh says:

    You can get the same effect by living in the Central Valley of California for the winter. The fog there never leaves. There were weeks at a time when the fog was so thick that the recognizable orb of the sun was replaced by a constant grey.

    Heck, you couldn't even point out which _half_ of the sky the sun was in.

  11. recursive says:

    You know, they're really just doing this to hide the hot construction-worker sex from your camera.

  12. jkonrath says:

    If you could find a good source for some discount LCD screens from laptops or something, you could just put one over each pane of glass and run xscreensaver on it.

  13. mark242 says:

    Now is the time to grab a high-powered projector from the DNA and start projecting extremely odd video clips at all hours, so people looking at your building get a free show.

    I'm thinking selected clips from Caligula.

  14. solios says:

    I've lived in this town for seven years and it's been shitty dead-television gray almost every single day of it. Cloud breaks typically during rush hour to blind anything that moves.

    Shit, it's flat dead gray right now. Forty degrees and heavy fog and for some reason Seattle gets the rep for the shit weather. Go figure.

    • jwz says:

      I woke up this morning and glanced over at the window and my first conscious thought was "snowed in."


      • malokai says:

        In california?

        Do you even get snow there?

        *stares out of office window at snowless vancouver*

        • simmonmt says:

          Snow? In San Francisco? The entire city would come to a screeching halt.

          Though I think freezing rain would be amusing, especially on Nob and Russian Hills.

    • jesus_x says:

      I've lived in this town for 27 of my 27 years, and I must contradict you. In the summer the sun rises, which is why we get 80 and 90 degree summer heat. It's Fall/Winter/Spring that the sun never manages to break through the cloud cover. We get three whole months of sun!

      But yeah, out winters SUCK. We either get a shitload of snow and single digit temps, or the six month long rain and overcast. When I saw the photo at the top here, I immediately thought "cool, it's morning in The Burgh."

  15. cwillu says:

    How certain are you that you're not going to perform some act of disobedience; can you open the top (or moderately high) windows; can you either get on to the scafold or open enough windows to achieve the following?

    Given the above, one could slice a nice banner, leaving the top attached, and tie some rope to the bottom, the other end of which is drapped through the aforementioned moderately-high window... external drapes anyone?

    Granted, this is likely to get you evicted, ensure whatever asbestos laden muck they're slopping on the building gets a direct path to your living room, and replace a complete eyesore with a half eyesore/half hack monstrosity, but you'd have your wonderful view of the parking lot back...

    Or not...

  16. vjacob says:

    The way the photos have been shot, it almost gives the impression that your view has that prison-cellbar look thing going on. Way to fix things.