anal leakage is good for you

The Olestra Detox Diet:

"The fake fat olestra spurs the excretion of toxins from the body, report researchers who have treated a PCB-laden woman with fat-free Pringles. Some studies have shown that olestra, used as a fat substitute in some foods, can help eliminate fat-soluble pollutants such as dioxin."
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18 Responses:

  1. wealhtheow says:

    This is also being considered as a treatment for Yushchenko's case of dioxin poisoning (last paragraph).

  2. nosrialleon says:

    wil it flush out those naughty, naughty erototoxins?

  3. Given other claims about the increasing accumulations of toxins in people's bodies (i.e., the recent claim about most mothers' breast milk being so toxic that, if it were a product, the FDA would ban it, as well as claims about epidemics of depression, ADHD, random homicidal violence and such being caused by unavoidable neurological damage from environmental toxins), could this be the Invisible Hand of the American consumerist-industrial marketplace setting things right? God bless the free market, I say.

  4. bifrosty2k says:

    I've always wondered how one would clear out mercury/etc trapped in the body's fat store.

    I've heard of cases where really obese people who crash dieted and ended up burning up a lot of fat ended up with mercury poisoning/etc.

    Perhaps if we treat swordfish and the bottom feeding fish with olestra, we won't get mercury from them :)

  5. Gads! Detoxing with random anal leakage, now that's what I call fun, fun, fun!

  6. People as industrial processing units or wha'. Maybe they could eat dirt at toxic spills first, kill two birds.

  7. kyronfive says:

    Just as fun going in as it is coming out.

  8. misuba says:

    According to Vogue food editor Jeffrey Steingarten in his book The Man Who Ate Everything, the anal leakage problem has been solved. Olestra is only a molecule, and, like fat molecules, it can be formulated to be solid at room temperature or liquid at room temperature. The first versions of Olean were the latter, so they turned to liquid at body temperature - oops. These days it is formulated to remain relatively shortening-like up until 110 degrees or so.

    Not really any more appetizing when I put it that way, I know.

    • mooflyfoof says:

      wow. you learn something new every day, eh? i always thought it was that the stuff weakened your sphincter. didn't realize it was just that it made for runny poops.

      • misuba says:

        What happened to cause the anal-leakage furor was that the oil - just the oil - would drip out of people's butts in small amounts. Of course, along the journey it had picked up some, er, adulterants.

        There are still folks (and a larger number of them than "independent studies" report) whose digestive systems just seem to go into full Communist revolution when they contact the stuff. That's based on my friends' anecdotes, though, so I really wonder how much of that was psychosomatic.

        • mooflyfoof says:

          ah, it all becomes clear.


        • d1663m says:

          What happened to cause the anal-leakage furor was that the oil - just the oil - would drip out of people's butts in small amounts.

          Heh, think about it for half a second. Sure, nobody ADMITS to farting. You try to sneak one out on occasion. You've got a constant well of oily goop sitting just inside the sphincter. Naturally, you're going to get... ass bubbles! :)