"Outraged Dutch actress Georgina Verbaan is to publish x-rays of her assets online after speculation that she underwent a breast augmentation in advance of a $120,000 appearance in the December issue of Dutch Playboy. The implant-free mams will reportedly appear sometime this week on her website."
"so I can look at you from inside as well."
DNA Lounge: Wherein photos are presented, and the bottom of the barrel is breached.
Photos are now up of Sunday's Epoxies / Phenomenauts / Smash Up Derby show, and of Tuesday's Laibach / Bonfire Madigan show.
Smash Up Derby are pretty entertaining; they played mix-and-match covers, like the music from "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with the lyrics from "Billie Jean". The Phenomenauts are a space-themed rockabilly band, and they were a lot of fun too. One of the guys introduced a song by saying, "ladies and gentlemen, some other planets have been saying they're better than Earth, what do we think about that?" The audience booed, and they went into a song called "Earth is The Best!"
But The Epoxies are my new favorite band. (Yeah, I'm fickle.) Man, they were so great! They do a punk/new wave thing, sort of in the Devo vein. They were really energetic, totally spastic and theatrical, and put on one of the best shows I've seen in a long time. Go check out the videos on their web site, especially "Stop Looking At Me".
Laibach: I still don't get it. At all. Apparently there is some ironic appeal here that continues to go swoosh right over my head.
If you are the type to slow down and rubberneck at car crashes, then I can recommend this Saturday's event, the... "Pajama Jammy Jam". Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are no longer scraping the bottom of the barrel: we have gone straight through the barrel and are now gouging great big chunks out of the floor beneath. I think it's safe to say that this will top 2001's "Naughty Christmas" as the tackiest, most tasteless event ever to grace our hallowed hall. Strong words, I know, but consider: there's a lingerie contest. And it's sponsored by a party bus company.
Here's how awesome this is going to be: you know Remedy, our stultifyingly mainstream Friday night event? The Remedy guys complained that if we do events like the "Jammy Jam", we're going to give Remedy a bad reputation.
Welcome to the next level.
In more pleasant news, here are some events that you should totally come to in a completely non-sarcastic way:
Every time you win, you get shot to death by Jack Ruby 368 40.8% No multi-player mode, unlike the real version 351 39.0% High scorer lists are immediately classified for some reason 96 10.7% Cursor keeps going back and to the left when it shouldn't 86 9.5%
peering at a basketball
Space is a vacuum. There is, by definition, nothing there. When we talk about exploring space, we really mean exploring the objects careening around in space - planets, moons, the occasional comet. So space is a hurdle, an ocean that must be crossed to reach a destination. Unfortunately, for three-quarters of the space age it has been treated as a destination in and of itself.
The last time humans crossed space to a destination was the Apollo 17 mission in 1972. In the 32 years since, no man has seen, with his own eyes, Earth as that beautiful, solitary blue sphere, and - reality check - no woman has ever seen it at all. We've been only to low Earth orbit since 1972, and from that altitude of 220 miles, looking at the 7,900-mile-diameter Earth is like peering at a basketball with your cheek pressed against it. Yes, you'll see curvature, but you're not seeing the whole thing. We've spent 32 years "exploring space" in low Earth orbit. Exploring nothing. To stay in orbit you have to go 17,000 mph, or Mach 25. So we've spent three decades going nowhere fast.
Woman Devouered by Triply Periodic Minimal Shoggoth:
The inflatable goat with a thousand young is now available for the low low price of only $4700. Act now, the stars are right.
The billboard pictured, which is on I-4, says that it is a "political public service message brought to you by Clear Channel Outdoor."
"Just Say No!"