now is the time on sprockets when we post chat logs

jwz: I do so love baiting furries
kiad: oh? do you have a url for me to laugh at?
jwz: the cameron post on my lj
kiad: *lauadadhas*
you are going to hell
jwz: I am?
kiad: well, if he's right, and he really is decended from a long line of wolf gods. then yes.
jwz: what's the furry word for "antisemetic"?
kiad: you know, I'm rather pleased that I don't have any idea.
jwz: is "trekkiebashing" a hate crime?

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kiad: well- I guess it depends on if you think this is voluntary of involuntary retardation or malformation.
I mean, do you laugh at people with cerebral palsey? (I sometimes do, but I feel bad about it)
jwz: sometimes I feel bad about it, but not usually
kiad: I like to think they really do have something profoundly broken.
jwz: all humor derives from the suffering of others
kiad: I don't know. I was thinking about making out with someone on a huge whiteboard while figuring out my math homework
and this made me laugh
maybe it was my own suffering, however.
jwz: I have no response to that
kiad: hahaha
so- yeah
you are oppressing him
he has a little fur covered belief system
jwz: I totally want to be oppressed!
kiad: and jews have their little hat covered old book thumping belief system
jwz: what can I accuse people of oppressing me for?
kiad: hmm. see, you are hard to oppress, because you won't back things with beliefs.
this makes you a pain in the ass.
you have values and opinions, but, they are based in shadenfreud. and no one can argue with the appeal there.
hmm. I guess you could be oppressed for living in a country with an oppressive dictator.
jwz: they hate me for my scientific method!
kiad: yes.
they do
jwz: that's been done, though
kiad: so do I.
they essentially hate you for hating them
I like how he said he's always respected you
jwz: hmmmm
kiad: although he knows you laugh at furries
seems kinda weird to me
jwz: "don't hate me just because I think you're a dumbass!"
kiad: hmm
you wouldn't say that, though.
"your hate for me makes me laugh harder at you"
jwz: right, I'd be all, "go ahead and hate me, just don't talk to me about it"
kiad: you'd probably say that.
I guess your taste in music could be laughed at.
but, it really isn't very funny
jwz: well, some of it is
kiad: hahah
jwz: I do own truly what-was-I-thinking numbers of lords of acid releases
kiad: maybe you just dont' offer people enough opportunities to laugh at you
hey. I just discovered lords of acid.
they did a robot song
so um. thats the one song I know!
jwz: perhaps I don't. how do you recommend I make an ass of myself?
kiad: hahha
no wonder I hate you
well, you'd have to be irrational, and brag about it.
or be histronic about something.
you should pick a day to be totally irrational and baseless in every way
and just not fact-check, and allow every brief fantasy to be accepted as a true belief
then you'll be laughable, just like everyone else
if only for a day
jwz: but I never fact check!
kiad: you are such a liar
jwz: well, not often
kiad: I sent you that IQ and voting tally
jwz: mostly I pick things for maximal "funny" not maximal "true"
kiad: and you totally sent me a url telling me it was false
you ruined the funny factor
jwz: well I didn't go *looking* for that, I had just *seen* it already
kiad: bah
jwz: yeah, you should totally hate me for that
kiad: well, you didn't have to ruin it for me
cause then I had to ruin it for everyone else
and within moments, NO ONE BELIEVED IT
no thanks to you.
except the furries.
they still believe.
this is an arctic wolf with blue eyes and a navel piercing.
interested in computers and BDSM
hows your visual picture?
jwz: what, I can't hear you, I'm scrubbing out my brain with a wire brush
kiad: wow. you have awesome fans
your fans are probably the worst ever
what kind of a LOSER attracts fans like that
at least mine send me jewelry
and break into my house to do my laundry
jwz: warren ellis's fans are worse
kiad: heh
jwz: but I'll bet more of them show him their tits
kiad: I bet so
but, I bet he doesn't mind that much
jwz: wait, laundry? huh?

I think I should post this log now
kiad: you better not
jwz: HAH!

will you hate me?
kiad: I can't decide
why are you going to post it?
to laugh at me or the conversation?
jwz: because I think it's funny!
kiad: hahah
you can't decide what you are laughing at!
jwz: perhaps I will post it friends only so that furboy doesn't think it's all about him
kiad: hahaha
what an ego boost that would be for him
you know- it would only serve to rally the troops
jwz: which troops? I get troops now? cool!
kiad: which would be interesting in its own right
the furrykin troops!
you dont' have jwzish troops
hmm. you know. somehow, it seems more wrong to be a plushie fan as opposed to a furry fan.
I don't know why- but masturbating on a pound puppy seems so much more wrong than having sex with a human in a dog costume.
jwz: tough call.
kiad: you see what I mean though, right?
jwz: I'm not so sure
kiad: I mean, at least with the latter, you probably know it is a human, you are just playing around.
but with the first, you are either getting off on the fact that it is a deadish animal like thing, or that it is an actual animal.
I have no idea why they do it
and even trying to intellectualise it is skeeving me out.
"is it the stuffing? the fur? The little pointy ears? the tail? oh god my brain is calling out to my wolf mother! Aroo! Aroo!"
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11 Responses:

  1. hepkitten says:

    i can oppress you for your taste in television.

  2. king_mob says:

    What, you're on IRC again? Where?

    Pay me no mind, I had a heroic amount of gin tonight.

  3. zapevaj says:

    There are even worse things than furries.

  4. vincel says:

    Yeah, but it allows me to a) take him off of my friends list and b) ban him from my journal.

    I bet you really had to choke back the tears when you read that.

  5. baconmonkey says:

    well, you'd have to be irrational, and brag about it.

    Exhibit A

    • kiad says:

      Good call. But- he doesn't seem to respond to all the pointing and laughing. In fact, some people seem to envy this horror show. This just enables him to point and laugh right back at the masses. It's futile, I tell you.

      It is no fun unless someone is crying on the floor, sucking their thumb. And why does he have photos of all of his employees drunk, but you don't have any pictures of him oblivious in a gutter... or do you? Muahaahaha.

  6. fantasygoat says:

    The furries fucking love my journal and it all stems from me mocking one of their own.

    I believe that, rather than seek acceptance in a cruel and harsh world, they actually love being mocked because they deeply hate themselves - that might explain their weak attempts to defend their bizarre lifestyle choices, since such mocking only validates their self-loathing and any sort of rigorous defense might impede that.

    I can't blame the internet for creating these aberrations because I knew a furry back in the BBS days, but back then we didn't have words like "yiffing". However, I can certainly blame the internet for getting these psychologically damaged fuckers organized. Why must they make me hate the internet, which otherwise brings me much joy?

    On the topic of the jwz army, Kevin Smith recently spoke in Toronto, and as usual he had two lines of people and two microphones so they might ask questions. Unfortunately, the most fervent fanboys were the first folks to make it to the microphones, and they asked the most incipient and, frankly, embarrassing questions, that any person with a modicum of self-respect would realize are ridiculous and forever staining of one's soul for even considering, let alone asking - things like "Can I give you my screenplay to read?"

    The crowd, which obviously skews heavy on the fanboy side already, actually groaned and booed a few of them, a sure sign of absolute retardation. Also, there was about 5 black people in the entire audience of 3,000.

    Anyway, if there was a jwz army, that's what I imagine it would be made up of - a real bell curve of nerdiosity. Be proud.

  7. avphibes says:

    Hey, you're a white American male and who is more opressed than that? I mean, haven't you heard? YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

  8. inoah says:

    >you dont' have jwzish troops

    It's because he doesn't look jwzish.