Woman Devouered by Triply Periodic Minimal Shoggoth:
The inflatable goat with a thousand young is now available for the low low price of only $4700. Act now, the stars are right.
What, exactly, is it?
I see angles which cannot be!
Had I known then what I know now, I would never have opened my browser to navigate to the unfathomable menace of <lj user="jwz">'s blog. Even now, I can hear in my mind the faint, distant squeaking of an inflated form rubbing against itself, and I fear that the creature comes closer with every passing heartbeat. But before it comes, I will set out to lay down my experience in cold black and white, reassuring ink on paper...
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."
For some reason I'm getting flashbacks to the colossal colon. If they're going to make something like that they should make it have a slide inside or a bouncy dome or something else semi-useful.
I mean you can buy klein bottle drinking mugs.
Looks more like Yog Sothoth to me.
I'd get me one of those were I rich and had I a large enough living room to put it in.
What? You can't climb it? Blower noise: 57dBA??
OK, forget it.
She would be screaming in horror... if she truly knew what was occuring. However... it would appear that the magnificent creature has put her in some sort of mind-numbing daze, or is perhaps torturing her brain itself in some sort of other dimention. Perhaps the sheer horror of it all has turned her into a vegetable. I hope I never know.