file under "bad ideas"

Dear Hollywood, I beg of you, don't do this. Thanks.

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28 Responses:

  1. king_mob says:

    I still have fond memories of the "Gilliam directing Watchmen" rumor. Ah well.

  2. ex_sjc says:

    So here's my big question: why comic book movies? Why not just enjoy your fine graphical narrative and not worry about Hugh Jackman's hair? (not directed to anyone in particular, just genuinely curious.)

    • thomtoffner says:

      Unfortunately, most people think comics and assume its all shitty superheroes or kids stuff. Arguably, about 95% of the time they'd be right, but it is very unfair to the actually good stuff out there. I think people actually feel more comfortable watching a really crappy movie version of a comic book than going out, buying, and *gasp* reading a "graphic novel."

      Semi-related note:
      About a year ago I bought Road to Perdition off Amazon's Marketplace, and was quite annoyed to have gotten the DVD (pan-n-scan even, sheesh) instead of the graphic novel that it was clearly listed as. The seller was embarrased and gave me my money back, so I ordered the next one in the list. I opened the mail to find a novelization of a movie adaptation of a comic. What the fuck?

      • wfaulk says:

        Most comic-book movies I could take or leave. Don't get me wrong -- some of them are entertaining movies, but the fact that they're based on comics is largely irrelevant to that fact, just as the fact that many are craptacular isn't based largely on that fact, either.

        But Watchmen is different. Alan Moore intentionally used a lot of cinematic tropes in the visuals of the comic and somehow it just screams to be made into a movie. (Of course, there are other elements of it that are not. Will the pirate comic book interludes be replaced with pirate movie interludes?) Some of Moore's other works are that way, too -- V for Vendetta comes to mind, not entirely because it was just mentioned.

        So why do I want to see a Watchmen movie? Because it feels like that's always what it should have been.

        • thomtoffner says:

          When I saw Ghost Ship, I was blown away to see that they apparantly ripped off Tales From the Black Freighter from Watchmen. I was able to "predict" the twist ending based on the fact that they blatantly stole it.

          I'm sure they'll leave out the pirate comics altogether, which is a shame. Theres just no good way to do it. Much of the story is commentary on society, explanations of the way things have changed, and the reasons for them. Other than having voiceover narration throughout the whole movie, theres no really good way to explain this stuff. Therefor, it will be left out. You'll be left with a bunch of yahoos in superhero outfits arguing and reminiscing; imagine The Big Chill in capes and tights.

          Like the pirates, many of the small little subplot chapters will have to go as well. This is why it is a bad idea to try to translate it to a feature film. There's too many little things that make up the book that will have to go, leaving not much interesting behind. There's no way it can be the same.

          Now if it were to be a miniseries, or maybe a 'trilogy' cut up, I might be able to see them pulling it off.

          I want to see this filmed as much as you do, but the version I want to see will cost a fortune, not be of much interest to the target demographic, and generally be a really tough sell.

  3. treptoplax says:

    Aeon Flux might be tolerable, and I find it nicely ironic that the lead actress nearly broke her neck during filming.

    But Constantine starring Keanu Reeves as John Constantine? Aaaugh!

      • britgeekgrrl says:

        I broke out in hives at the casting of "Constantine", too... although a pal of mine who's worked on the film (and seen an assembly edit of it) thinks it's relatively watchable.

        Of course, that might mean "Relative to the Dungeons and Dragons movie" or something...

        • zuvembi says:

          Of course, that might mean "Relative to the Dungeons and Dragons movie" or something...

          FFS, let's not go there.

          All they'd have to do to make a fantastic movie is do "Dangerous Habits". Scene for scene. You wouldn't have to change anything and it *could* be great.

          I can't even stomach to follow the news about the movie.

          • britgeekgrrl says:

            I know that *some* of the dangerous habits storyline made it into the screenplay, but I don't know *how much*. Unfortunately, my film-crew friend doesn't actually know the comic, the poor, misfortunate sod.

    • ilcylic says:

      But Constantine starring Keanu Reeves as John Constantine? Aaaugh!

      Yeah, that one made me cry.


  4. waider says:

    I notice they're not taking sides in the War On Labels: "A terrorist freedom fighter known only as "V"..."

  5. bitwise says:

    Maybe this will brighten your day.

    First Avenue reopens tonight. The mayor of Minneapolis promised to stage dive on opening night.

    Tonight's show is GWAR.

  6. Evil Dead remake? Why don't they just make Evil Dead 4 and end the series with Ash dying in the process of saving the future from the robots? That'd be much cooler.

    Zombies with laser guns! Zombies with laser guns vs. a FRIGGIN' ROBOT ARMY!!

    It'd sell.

  7. felisdemens says:

    Oh dear weeping jesus. Alan Moore should go on a serious bitch-slapping campaign.

    • britgeekgrrl says:

      Alas, Moore doesn't seem to care overmuch what happens to his work once he's got the check for the movie option in his hands. :(

      If he retained creative control of the property during the adaptation process, I suspect we would have seen some MUCH better films...

      • jwm says:


        According to Neil, he doesn't even take the money from film options, instead he assigns it to his cocreators. I think it's more a case that he just doesn't care about the film medium overly much.


  8. starjewel says:

    "'The Evil Dead' is such a special film to Sam, Rob, Bruce and horror fans that we are going to take great care in renewing this franchise," said Joe Drake, Senator Intl. prexy.

    Which is exactly why they shouldn't do it... *sigh*

  9. suppafly says:

    the watchmen movie doesn't sound too bad.. i dunno about the other two..

  10. mykwud says:

    I actually quite like Bourne director Paul Greengrass. Check out his multi-award-winning docudrama "Bloody Sunday", about U2's last tour. (Actually about the 1972 genocidal atrocities committed by the english army against the village of Londonderry, Ireland).

    The rest of the news makes me cry tears of blood, though. :(

  11. revglenn says:

    oh god... why would they ever want to ruin a perfectly brilliant movie like evil dead? why not just make number 4? that's what the evil dead fans want! not a new version that will obviously suck.

  12. batmite2000 says:

    OMG, it's like all of the bad remake idea people got together for a party.

    From the V for Vendetta article,
    'Silver most recently produced Shane Black's "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang" and is currently developing a remake of "Logan's Run" with writer and helmer Bryan Singer.'

    Remake Logan's Run??? Wanna bet that they have never read the original novel?

  13. p3rlm0nk says:

    Hmm, in the realm of "comix/graphic noves -> movies",
    I think an intensely gonzo-esque political tragicomic
    thriller based on Transmetropolitan might be wicked
    cool and appropriate for the times that we live in. I can
    see Depp pulling off a performance in that setting that would
    be really great, since he's already done a good job with hunter
    s. thompson, and I think has the acting chops to pull of the deeper/sadder
    portions of the spider jerusalem character.

    (Of course, like any translation of a written work, it'd probably
    suffer greatly from the compression artifacts inherent in
    reducing hundreds of pages of text to 120 minutes of film.
    The only words to film transition that I can recall where
    the resultant film was better than the source work was The
    Hunt for Red October
    , as the movie had a clearer plot,
    better character development, etc. than clancey's popular
    but IMHO poorly written first novel (many of his later novels sucked
    balls too, but some of the middle novels were decent B-grade
    spy works, e.g. The Cardinal in the Kremlin).