I am bored and somewhat dizzy

and you will entertain me now. Post a funny picture. Or tell me about some freakish trick you can do with your body. I'll start: due to a second grade monkeybar mishap, I can pop my right shoulder out of its socket.

I, for one, welcome our new incontinent robot overlords

"RoboDump is a robot. Sort of. And it poops. Sort of. Forever. A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds. Here's the soundtrack. The left channel speaker points up into the room (for the voice effects) and the right channel speaker points down into the toilet (for the business-end effects)."
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today in teledildonics news

I, for one, welcome our new softly vibrating robotic velour overlords:

The device, which is about the size of a throw pillow but as firm as a seat cushion, is shaped like a person about to give a hug, with two arms reaching up and out from a small torso.

To send a hug, the grandchild would squeeze the left paw of her device and speak her grandfather's name into a microphone in the top of the torso. Voice recognition software in the processor in the device identifies the name and matches it to a preset phone number corresponding to the other Hug. The girl's Hug calls the grandfather's, which lights up and plays sounds. To accept the hug, he squeezes the left paw and says hello, opening a direct voice link between the two.

Once the connection is established, the girl squeezes or pats the device. Sensors convert those motions into a data stream that is sent to the other Hug and converted on that end into vibrations through small motors embedded in the device. Thermal fibers around the Hug's belly radiate heat that increases with time. The hug is ended by pressing the right paw and saying goodbye.

If someone is not home to receive a hug, the other person can leave a message that includes voice and vibration patterns. The Hug can store up to four messages.

(See also LoveLump.)

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in your face, flossing!

Today my dentist told me that I don't need to floss. HA! I was stunned: I thought they took an oath preventing them from ever saying something like that.

    "How often are you flossing?"
    "Almost never."
    "Well, you can get away with that, I guess."

In your face, flossing!

I did get a "stop clenching your teeth", however. But nobody's ever going to tell you "you should clench your teeth more."

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Fluke, Inhuman Beings, Murder of Angels

Fluke by Christopher Moore:

    A very funny book, as are all his books. Laugh-out-loud funny. I wish I had picked this up before the Hawaiian vacation! It would have put an entirely other spin on that trip. I think this is not my favorite of his (that'd be either Coyote Blue or Bloodsucking Fiends) but it's still highly recommended.

Inhuman Beings by Jerry Jay Carroll:

    This is somewhere between a Sam Spade story and Invasion of the Body Snatchers; the two styles mesh together surprisingly well. The story starts off with a down-on-his-luck private eye taking a case from a crazy person because he needs the money, but eventually he becomes a believer. (Also it's mostly set in San Francisco, and I always get a kick out of that.)

Murder of Angels by Caitlin R. Kiernan:

    I'm not quite done with this yet, but I'm definitely not enjoying it as much as Threshold and Low Red Moon. This is apparently the sequel to "Silk", which I read years ago and only barely remember, and I think that hasn't been helping. Also, it turns out that (to my great and not entirely pleasant surprise) this is mostly a fantasy book. It reminds a bit of me of Clive Barker's later magical-fantasy stuff, and that kind of thing just doesn't do it for me these days. But, it's got some interesting imagery, so it's been good for falling asleep to.
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The Faint

Saw The Faint yesterday at Bimbo's, and they put on a great, energetic show. They sounded a lot like their recorded material, yet were much more of a live band than I expected; the electronics were still there, but they felt more "rock". They also had really great visuals: they played videos on two screens behind the band that were synched with the music, and it integrated really well. It felt more like a "stage backdrop" than like "there's a band, and also a movie."

The opening acts, "Beep Beep" and "TV on the Radio" were also good.

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go see Laurie Anderson

I saw her tonight, and it was fantastic. She's always great, but this was definitely one the best performances I've seen her do. Tickets are still available for the Friday night show at Zellerbach. (Other tour dates.)

Open questions:

  • Was "Home of the Brave" ever released on DVD? Google suggests only that there are LD-rips of it floating around (and that the out-of-print VHS was recorded in mono.) Someone should get me one of those DVDs.
  • Why does she look more and more like my mom every time?

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