A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant

At last, audiences can discover the secrets of Scientology without being zapped by the fabled electropsychometer:
"The parents of one of the kids in the cast were called by members of the entertainment industry that were Scientologists," says Timbers. "They were told that if they were to continue with the show that it might be bad for their future career."


Alison Stacy Klein as The Angelic Girl

Max Miner as John Travolta, Stephanie Favoreto Queiroz as Kirstie Ally, and Daren Watson as Tom Cruise
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10 Responses:

  1. granting says:

    That's.
    Um.

    Right.

  2. mactavish says:

    At somepoint, someone in Hollywood has got to say, "Give those kids jobs." It's sick (in my rarely humble opinion) that Co$'s scare tactics can be so effective.

    (In this case, it looks like they're fine so far.)

  3. lars_larsen says:

    The COS has advocated violence and murder of people who are threats to scientology. I wonder if these kids are gonna get whacked.

    • fo0bar says:

      Dude, you like totally mentioned Scientology. They're totally gonna whack you.

      • lars_larsen says:

        I may very well be on their list. But I can't verify that because the most recent enemies list available is from 1992.

        • j_b says:

          Now now. You're thinking of the older "John Gotti" or "Whitey Bulger" Co$. They'd prefer of you to think of them now as the kinder, gentler, more Tony Soprano / metrosexual Co$.

          If you'll excuse me, I have some thetans inflaming my arsegrapes, and I need to have them banded.

  4. tfofurn says:

    The Tom Cruise character merely says, "I'm Tom Cruise", but you know what he's getting at.

    Exquisite.

  5. hotnickels says:

    Where's the kid playing the role of John Travolta ? and why is one of the children playing Cool Moe Dee.

  6. fourcoffees says:

    I hope you didn't miss one of the poor kids is actually named "Spenser Lee Carrion-O'Driscoll".