"The Honorable Gavin Newsom:
As chair of His Majesty's Bridge Committee, appointed through the intuitive intervention of that acute seer Baba Rebop, I beseech a boon. I request Your Honor to submit to the Board of Supervisors of the City and County of San Francisco a resolution requesting the state Legislature to name the western span of the Bay Bridge after His Majesty, Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.
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His Majesty did predict the building of this world famous span in 1869, a time when only goats and the Central Pacific Railroad coveted Yerba Buena Island.
Such a bridge named after His Imperial Majesty would intrigue hoards of free-spending tourists to visit the Golden City by the Bay. San Francisco's nearest competitor is only the Sandwich Islands, once ruled by mere kings and queens.
His Majesty is a model of fiscal responsibility. San Franciscans accepted Bonds of the Empire at par, during a decade when U.S. government paper money and U.S. government coined silver passed among merchants at a discount.
His Majesty looked after the unfortunate of his realm, issuing proclamations to redress wrongs against African Americans, Chinese, Native Americans and all others in need of tolerance and acceptance.
His Majesty, through his humble representative, prays that you will grant this petition.
Your Obedient Servant,
ROBERT J. CHANDLER
Chair, His Majesty's Bridge Committee
Bay Bridge -> Emperor Norton Bridge
33 CommentsTags: sf, the future