life imitates Neuromancer again: aquatic razorgirls

Nike permanently affixes goggles to Olympic swimmers' eyes Ryan Block wrote:
"If you're planning on swimming in the Olympics, you've got to be prepared to go the extra mile to shave off a few hundredths of a second off your time. It's not enough to have laser remove all your body hair and wear rubber band underwear anymore, now Nike wants you to use their latest drag-killing device, the strapless water goggles. How does it work? Two independent goggle lenses get afixed to your eye sockets with medical-grade adhesive (read: superglue). Say, while you're at it, why don't you just get your toes and fingers sewn together like a duck?"
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33 Responses:

  1. schnee says:

    Well, it *does* make sense... and it looks quite nice, too. ^_~

  2. clintiskeen says:

    Write your own joke here

  3. ralesk says:

    I, for one, welcome our smooth-skinned, alien-eyed aquadynamic overlords.

  4. naturalborn says:

    Superglue is nowhere near 'permanent'. You can take it off with some care immediately, and your outer layer of skin wears off in a few days.

  5. weev says:

    Completely without body hair, rubber band underwear, goggles attached to eye sockets... These sound like my kind of girls

  6. crasch says:

    Medical grade superglue (cyanoacrylate) is commonly used for wound closure. It would probably hurt if you took the goggles off too soon, but wait a day or so, and you should be able to take them off without pain.

    • xenogram says:

      Nail polish remover and a cotton-bud would be a lot faster

    • jkonrath says:

      It's worth mentioning to DIY types that dermabond and your regular store-bought superglue aren't the same thing, especially when you're trying to use it on living flesh. Hydration causes regular CA to break down into cyanoacetate and formaldehyde, which aren't things you want in a cut or wound. Longer alkyl chain cyanoacrylates like octyl cyanoacrylate aren't toxic and bond about four times stronger. But you can't buy a tube of it at Safeway for a buck twenty nine.

  7. xenogram says:

    I wonder if they come mirrored.

  8. pete23 says:

    obviously. what a facile comment, neh? but it's late.

  9. mizalon says:

    That picture sucks because she has hair on her head. Obviously, she is not hard core. She's probably a swim team groupie.

  10. I wonder if anyone's ever tried a bulbous bow style hat for swimming.

  11. beowabbit says:

    What I want is to have metal threads surgically inserted in my eye sockets, so I can screw pairs of monacles in. It would save me constantly setting my glasses down and losing them.

  12. ofsilence says:

    My ex-roommate had 2 webbed toes on each foot.


  13. jayrtfm says:

    The medical-grade adhesive is probably Prosaide, which is waterproof, non-irritating, and is removed with Detachal.

    Dick Smith popularized its use in makeup efx.

  14. strangehours says:

    I wonder what nipple piercings do for drag (erm). I don't know if the guy in question made it past the heats, so it may be that hundreds of a second weren't going to do anything for him anyway.

  15. greatbiggary says:

    Mark Allen Shepherd did this for years on DS9.

  16. asan102 says:

    THese don't seem to be terribly different form the goggles they currently use, which are like the morpheus ones - just one band across the nose connecting the two lenses, but no straps. Although I suppose those would fall off more easily than ones that are glued to your face.

  17. roninspoon says:

    I would think that glueing goggles over your eye sockets for extended periods of time would cause exccessive drying of the eyes. This strikes me as a Bad Idea.

  18. phs says:

    I think they probably just use medical adhesive remover when they're done swimming.

    Medical adhesive is pretty common for prosthetic make-up and such when stuff like spirit gum isn't strong enough.

  19. mia_tremere says:

    Hi. I don't know all you. This is cool, please give me it. I wonte it for my colection. kthx.

    P.S. Ale yawr bass air be long two hus.

    P.P.S. Play the Neuromancer video game I made! Oh wait, I never made that one...but hey, I finished the design doc!

    P.P.P.S. In case nobody's yet noticed, please kill me.