the monkey ate my AWOL records, I swear!

Pentagon Says Bush Records of Service Were Destroyed

Military records that could help establish President Bush's whereabouts during his disputed service in the Texas Air National Guard more than 30 years ago have been inadvertently destroyed, according to the Pentagon.

Mr. Talbott's office would not respond to questions, saying that further information could be provided only through another Freedom of Information application.

But Bryan Hubbard, a spokesman for Defense finance agency in Denver, said the destruction occurred as the office was trying to unspool 2,000-foot rolls of fragile microfilm. Mr. Hubbard said he did not know how many records were lost or why the loss had not been announced before.


14 Responses:

  1. portsigur says:

    He has the BEST LUCK in the world.. out of millions and millions of miles of "film they were experimenting on" they just happened to "choose" the one thing that could of made this ass, an official one. there are many many many more examples of said "LUCK" but it's ironic...Did you hear about the , and how it MIGHT POSSIBLY come out during the democratic convention. Funny isn't it....Kerry in a LANDSLIDE

  2. deeptape says:

    Unspool it with what? A blowtorch?

  3. lars_larsen says:

    Broken or not, the FBI can reassemble the pieces. They've busted murderers with less evidence.

    And on top of all this. Dubbya was a pilot right? So he must have a flight log where he writes down all his hours right? Why cant he just show us he has 2000 hours in a military jet, and have it all be over with?

    • Because he can't. Nothing to show.

      • lars_larsen says:

        Surely his flight instructor would remember him. He spent hundreds of hours in the air with him right?


        I get really mad when I think about this. I'd give my left nut to get into national guard pilot training, and he had that opportunity and fucking blew it to go drink and do coke.

        If only I knew someone in congress... Or my daddy ran the CIA, maybe I could get a slot in UPT (pilot training).

    • jkonrath says:

      He trained for flight early in his service - the missing records in question were from late in his service. Given he was trained on a jet that was quickly obsoleted, he probably didn't even fly during the second half of his tour.

      It sounds stupid, but it happens. I'm sure there are more than a few B-1 crewmembers that are pushing papers (or less) on their weekend a month for the remainder of their obligation rather than retraining on a different plane.

      That doesn't answer how he got assigned to be a pilot in the first place, though.

      • lars_larsen says:

        You have to log ALL hours on ALL flights in ALL airplanes.

        • jkonrath says:

          I'm not saying he didn't log the hours. I'm saying that all of his logged hours happened before the timeframe in which the records were destroyed. I.e. he was in the service for four years, so he trained on the F-102 and flew training missions for two years, and all of those hours have been logged, and then for two years, he either sat around with his thumb up his ass or didn't show up at all. (Those numbers are arbitrary - that's just an example.)

          Before the 2000 elections, I remember reading an article that said he failed to take whatever annual required physical exam you need for airworthiness (probably because his nose was worn raw from doing massive lines of coke) and he wouldn't have been airworthy for the period of time that is in dispute here.

          • lars_larsen says:

            I should have been more clear. I mean he must have flown once or twice in that period. Pilots have to take checkrides once or twice a year to keep their license. I dont see how he could be in the guard and not have a current license.

            So yeah, it might be just 2 flights, but they should be there somewhere.

            But that might explain why he was awol, there was nothing to do there!!!

  4. ammitbeast says:

    You know what happened... Bush sent a terminator robot into the past to destroy the records. Time ripple alters the future, and suddenly Mr. Hubbard notices that the records had been destroyed years before.

    Hey, let's send a terminator back to the year 2000 to enforce minority voting rights in Florida.

  5. Good ol' Gary Trudeau offered up a multi-thousand-dollar bounty to anyone who could step forward and testify to having witness W. serve.

    Not one taker.

  6. xenogram says:

    I guess somebody in the Pentagon must have been watching Yes Minister recently.


    "No, Minister we lost those files in the flood of '78."


    "Oh, was it a bad flood?"


    "No, it was a great flood, we got rid of a lot of embarrassing files that year."