SmartKlamp: The Fine Art of Male Circumcision. (Warning: instructions contain pervo S&M kiddie porn pictures.)
for all your late-night cock-chopping needs
SmartKlamp: The Fine Art of Male Circumcision.
Tags: parts, perversions
Current Music: One Inch Punch -- Pretty Piece of Flesh ♬
41 Responses:
I think my favorite line in the faq is "The application of the clamping mechanism will cause a pain sensation..." I'd like to know how a pain sensation differs from the searing agony of having a chunk of your schlong expurgated with a tubular mousetrap.
What's up with the three happy boys on the left side of the page? "Our patients clamped our wangs and we couldn't be happier! Thanks, SmartKlamp!"
I guess if someone had plastic separation anxiety after their 5 days of being SmartKlamped, they could just transition over to one of these.
I liked this typo from page:
please make a choice between being a parent and a medical professional.
Indeed.
This gives a WHOLE NEW MEANING to the term "end users"...
As if there wasn't enough societal encouragement to mutilate your child.
Current Music: One Inch Punch -- Pretty Piece of Flesh
Uh...was that for real?
Haven't you noticed yet? Jamie's music choices are almost always apt :)
I've always wondered if he actually plays the apt song to get in the mood for writing the post, or if he just thinks of a fitting song and writes it in.
ew. ow.
*shivver*
need anything else removed?
http://www.heiniger.com/elastrator/animal.cfm
I am so reminded of the Spishak Bris-O-Tine here...
Man... now I remember why I didn't get my son's pencil sharpened....
I think I'm gonna go barf now...
I really think you're mixing two very different things up here.. The pencil sharpener is for writing utensils only. Please, for the sake of your son, make sure you use the appropriate device for the job.
Mixed metaphors aside, my point is that I'd *never* do that to my lil boy. He's 3 1/2 now and just perfect the way he is....
He'll grow out of that.
Oh sure... be killjoy....
Man. What really gets me is this:
The SmartKlamp stays on for five days on the penis
Through the tube the boy can urinate
The boy can take bath or showers
He can go to school and continue studying
Return to the clinic after five days
What the hell? What poor little boy can study with that thing on? Can you imagine the sheer amount of shit dude would get at the third grade urinal?
"Hey, look, it's RoboDick!"
"Shut up!"
I'd sue my fucking parents.
A.
not if the boy next to you is also using it.
besides, ull be thankful for it when u grow up-all that pornstar inclinations is just one step away when ur cut...
no smelly smegmas too...
yeah, im cut...=P
So you're hardly the expert on forskins then.
nah, never took a long lingering look at it, got too many things to do...
no smelly smegmas too...
although if people actualy wash this dosnt become a problem
well, when do ppl actually wash? =P
well most non americans wash every day... ;)
muahahahahahahaha...
You wouldn't know it to smell some of the ones that work here at my office...! :P
Can anyone effectively tell me the difference between circumcision and female genital mutilation? I'm having trouble understanding why that is bad, but circumcision somehow is not.
Of course, I don't think anyone has invented a FGM bot yet...
It's a matter of degree. The latter is more like lopping of the whole glans.
I'm totally against both.
But I can't say they are the same at all.
If female genital mutilation were like circumcision, the hood of the clitoris would be chopped off. If male circumcision were like FGM, the entire head of the penis would be hacked off. Or, in some tribes, the equivelent would be hacking off the entire penis, and the sealing up the wound by sewing the scrotum across it. And the procedure would painfully interfere with urination, intercouse, and reproduction, and result in frequent infections.
"And the procedure would painfully interfere with urination, intercouse, and reproduction, and result in frequent infections."
Yeech. We had a speaker in our "Gender Relations" class (Yes, I took Women's Studies - I was tricked, but I don't regret it) that said it took FGM females on average four hours to reach orgasm.
Nice colourful anatomical comparisons, though. Both negatively affect sexual sensativity, but I guess with what you said in mind it's easy to see why FGM is more severe.
How the fuck do these rituals get started? Why would anyone go to such great lengths to ensure women couldn't enjoy sex? And why do we need to start automating these processes? Someone please restore my faith in humanity...
Christ! 4 hours if they are LUCKY to EVER have an orgasm. FGM can cause severe pain during sex (because of nerve damage, etc), and I don't know about you, but when my coochie hurts, my mind is far far from the possibility of orgasming.
"Why would anyone go to such great lengths to ensure women couldn't enjoy sex?"
To keep them from straying.
To increase the honour of the family.
Right, but the origins of that type of honor have to do with keeping the woman at home. And since, the theory goes, women are unable to be loyal of their own right, they must be kept from embarassing the family by brutal and violent means.
Actually - that may only be true in some of the more extreme, shall we say, isolated areas.
I understand that the main risk was from other men, and that they must therefore protect their women from outside interest.
Totally backwards I know - "I can't trust other men, so I'm going to veil/restrain/mutilate you".
At least that's what my Egyptian colleagues and I debate about - I think it is different from other cultures.
Aiiiieeeeeeeowowowow.
I speak from experience. Tho' not of that thing.
Circumcision is /bad/ and the sooner it's done away with forever, the better.
I don't know about that.. having had one 26 years ago, I rather like things they way they are. :)
Weirdo!
I'd have liked my bits completely intact, thankyou. There were a good 10 or 15,000 nerve endings in there I could have put to *good use*.
How involved is the nervous system of the foreskin, anyhow?
What do you mean by "how involved"? They're nerves connected to myriads of touch sensors at the end of your willie, which arguably is the one area of the male body that can give its owner the greatest pleasure.
Secondarily, possession of a foreskin keeps the glans moist and therefore more soft and sensitive. Removal of the foreskin causes the surface of the glans to dry out and the skin to become cornified, dramatically reducing its sensitivity.
There's no real benefit on the grounds of hygiene - that's a mediæval myth. Some smegma will accumulate underneath but that is normal, natural and healthy. Probably the simplest way of cleaning the area is to have a good brisk wank in the bath or shower.
Circumcision does not protect against AIDS or other STD.
In summary, most of the alleged reasons for circumcision are variants on primitive superstition. It is ritual genital mutilation, no more.
If you're not a victim of primitive superstition, wanting to cut off your prepuce is thus insane.
I wasn't sure how to best word the question, and missed the mark. It's true that the head of the penis has a very high nerve concentration--but the skin 5mm behind it does not. I'm wondering where on the gamut the foreskin lies.
OIC.
AFAIK, next richest innervation to the glans itself. I.e., lots.
Those who have "restored" theirs with weights and tape and things - Google for it, it's amazing; try "NORM UK" - say that the extra sensation from de-cornification of the glans is pretty amazing, though.