A high wave lashes a fishing port in Aki, western Japan. A large typhoon lashed western Japan with heavy rains and powerful winds Monday, grounding airplanes, stalling ferries, and forcing hundreds to evacuate their homes. (AP Photo/Kyodo News)
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Moon, Time Cube, ALL ARE ONE!

This latest Sun Myung Moon thing is just too weird, but better still are some of his quotes:

Moon's vagina monologues:

In the spirit of yin-yang duality, Washington Times owner Rev. Moon calls the penis the convex organ and the vagina the concave. From a 2000 speech railing against loose women (in which he also lays out his his U.N. plans):

"If a couple exists with that individualism, then the concave organ should be sealed with concrete."

Ouch. From a 2001 speech.

"A woman's reproductive organ is concave, like the wide-open mouth of a poisonous snake with fangs"

Also, pliers:

"As a man, in your right front pants pocket is a small inside watch pocket. Keep pliers there, and when you go to the bathroom, once a day, pinch your love organ. Cut the skin a little bit as a warning. If your love organ does not listen to your conscience, then you should cut off the tip. Even if it takes that extreme measure, we have to make sure our mind and body become one. We were told to love our enemy. What is our enemy? Our lineage and love organ. Love your enemy."
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it's not fair to tease like that

Kerry invited Aspen resident and writer Hunter S. Thompson to ride in his motorcade and brought three copies of Thompson's book about the 1972 presidential race, "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail" for autographs.

"Just to put your minds all at ease, I have four words for you that I know will relieve you greatly," Kerry told the fund-raiser. "How does this sound -- Vice President Hunter Thompson."

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Photographers' Bust Card

Your Rights When Stopped or Confronted for Photography
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it's like foreshadowing in reverse

A Japanese teenager was forced by his teacher to write an apology in blood after dozing in the classroom, the school's principal said on Monday. He said the boy was taken to the staff room of the school in Fukuoka City, southern Japan, after being caught asleep during a lesson. The 40-year-old male teacher handed the boy a box-cutter and paper and told him to write an apology in blood. The teacher left the student, who then cut his finger and began to write an apology using his own blood.

He said the boy was back in school, and neither he nor his parents had asked to switch teachers. The teacher involved is expected to resume classes in a few days, Dan said.

The incident comes on the heels of an attack in which an 11-year-old girl killed a classmate by slashing her throat with a box cutter, also in southern Japan.


insult to injury

Fuckin' spammers.


Gene Simmons video of his cover of Firestarter. Yeah, it's pretty much exactly what you'd expect.
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I, for one, welcome our black market knicker-sniffing overlords

...or, "the street finds its own use for skidmarks"

Schoolgirls sniff gold in pantie crackdown:

Naughty Japanese schoolgirls lost one of their greatest sources of pocket money earlier this month after the Tokyo Metropolitan Government outlawed the trade in soiled knickers from the underaged.

Tokyo's Burusera Ordinance, which takes its name from the Japanese-English contraction of the words "bloomer seller," bans the purchase of used panties from anybody under the age of 18, as well as any activities that would facilitate such a sale. [...]

"The ordinance may have shut down the burusera stores, but it has only sparked a thriving trade in schoolgirls using mobile phone sites to conduct direct sales to customers without needing a middleman. They'll arrange to meet in some dark spot like a karaoke box or beside a building, then remove and hand over their panties on the spot in exchange for payment. What's more, they're charging 5,000 to 10,000 yen a pair, about five times what they would have got from a burusera shop. Some girls are even happy the ordinance has come into effect because it's done away with the burusera shops that were eating into their profits." [...]

"Everybody starts off thinking that just selling their panties is not too bad, but about 90 percent of those girls end up prostituting themselves within six months, no, three months of making their first panty sale," he tells Shukan Taishu. "Lots of girls feel liberated by dropping their panties. Next thing they know, though, they've dropped their guard, too."


mmm, soup

Narcotics police in southwestern China shuttered 215 restaurants found to be mixing opium poppy into their soups and hot pot stews, the official Xinhua News Agency reported Friday. Dishes at the restaurants in Guizhou province contained varying degrees of the opium derivative morphine.

DNA Lounge: Wherein you listen to a humorous audio clip.

Photos are up of last night's Sister Machine Gun / Christ Analogue / Manufactura show. (I love my new camera.)

It was a fantastic show! Manufactura is one guy doing really good power noise; not much to watch, but he did seem to be playing, which is always greatly appreciated. Christ Analogue are hard industrial rock, mostly live, but with a lot of electronics in the mix too. They had two live drummers! They rocked. And Sister Machine Gun are long-time favorites of mine. they played a good mix of older and newer stuff, which was cool, because their style has changed a lot over the years. They started out as Pretty Hate Machine-influenced synthpoppy-industrial, but then started going in a much funkier Die Warzau-like direction.

Anyway, about half way through the show, SMG's singer made this hilarious speech which I will transcribe for you now:

So, everything we've played -- see, I give this speech every night, I mix it up a bit. We call it an "Audience Specific Interlude." Like, at this point, I'll say something about something tht happened to me in San Francisco.... and I'll make it "amusing..."

Anyways, everything we've played in this set up to this juncture, this crossroads, this... interlude... is released on Positron Records, which we own and operate, the representative of which [at the merch booth] will be happy to supply you with a fix in that regard, for a modest fee which will go toward letting us sleep in a hotel room instead of the van...

Everything after that juncture (that interlude) is released on Wax Trax Records. which means it's owned by -- actually it's not owned by TVT Records, it's owned by Credit Suisse. so technically speaking, the first four Sister Machine Gun albums are released on Credit Suisse, a Swiss bank, which is kind of cool when you think about it.

The point being, I don't get fuckin' paid for that shit, not a dime, not a single red cent. So you can go ahead and go home, and -- hey, you can download it right the fuck here, they got WiFi. Just get up on Morpheus or some fuckin' thing and get that shit for free.

Anyways, with that said, here we go.

Truly, a classic moment. Sign of the times.

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