Good for you, Lynndie England, you chinless, inbred, runty, androgynous backwoods mutt! When you mimed a crotch-shot at that hooded detainee, you reminded us all of what Imperial service should be like: one long S&M tour of the tropics, where every man, woman and child of the conquered peoples exists solely as an object for your pleasure.

The Greeks and Romans were honest about conquest. They divided the task into two parts: first you vanquish the enemy on the battlefield, and then you rape every single man, woman and child among the conquered. They were just as systematic about this phase of the operation as the campaign that preceded it. The troops may have been weary, but somehow they found the devotion to duty to impress their tribal superiority on their defeated enemies in the most direct, practical sense: by fucking them in the ass.

Among the nations conquered and buggered by Roman civilization was Britain. They, too, knew in their colons exactly what it was to be colonized. As the inhabitants were being rogered, they learned a valuable lesson, which they passed on to their distant descendents, the founders of the British Empire: being the soldier of a victorious empire means having a free pass to a giant rape-camp thousands of miles across, crammed with submissive, trembling victims of every age and shape. And every damn one of them is yours, to do with as you please.