"The president's feet are not to touch the dirt."

Money in his coffers, but no dirt on his shoes:

For days now, the job at Eisenhower Park in Nassau County has been to follow the order from the White House through the Secret Service and down to the park workers:

"The president's feet are not to touch the dirt."

So all yesterday, large crews drawn from all county parks worked to ensure that, as always in his life, George Bush's feet do not touch the ground when he appears in the big park today.

Bush arrives for a fund-raiser at a restaurant in the park. That is indoors and he doesn't have to worry about his feet there. But he has to go over ground to an administration building where he is to meet with families of 9/11 victims. After that, he has to go over more ground to get to the site of a memorial to the victims.

He doesn't want his feet on the ground and he will be at a groundbreaking ceremony.

[...] They put up a concrete sidewalk from the parking lot to a ramp leading into a side entrance to the building. The rain and sleet made it impossible for the concrete to dry. So they changed from concrete to the asphalt used on streets. They hoped the president wouldn't mind this. After all, it would protect his feet from touching the earth. Gravel and hot steaming asphalt.

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22 Responses:

  1. dzm6 says:

    I wonder if there's some semi-legitimate Secret Service Reason for this (maybe they're worried about pathogens being spread in the soil, yadda yadda) or if GWB is just slowly turning into a Rock Star? Will he soon begin asking for bowls of M&Ms with all the brown ones picked out?

    • solarbird says:

      I was thinking maybe landmines! Because otherwise, this is just crazy. Any biohazard issue could be taken care of just by sending the shoes off for checking/decontamination. Radiation, mostly by just washing the shoes off. So. It's weird.

      • lars_larsen says:

        Yes, it is because of landmines. When clinton went jogging they had to search the routes ahead of time for manholes, roadside bombs, etc.

  2. ronbar says:

    They could always carry him in a stretcher. Or a wheelchair.

    Then again, he could come back down to earth and fucking walk over there, then wipe his shoes off on the mat like every other mere mortal.

  3. substitute says:

    Surely if the feet of our Priest-King touch the Earth we are doomed! The She-Devil Earth Goddess will take his Mana and the crops will die.

  4. schwa242 says:

    And all shall keep their heads lower than the President's at all times!

  5. belgand says:

    Bah! I'd just hire Dave Prowse to carry me everywhere. Then again, the sedan chair has always had a really nice look going on with it, but I'm not certain how the people would react to that.

  6. gths says:

    It would be better if Bush could hover a feet about the ground.
    Perhaps we should get him one of those suspender things that the Baron Harkonnen had in Dune.

  7. colubra says:

    This seems to ring a bell with something out of Fraser's The Golden Bough for me... I can't call it up exactly, but it makes me think of the rites around the sacrifice of the king that Fraser prattles on and on about. Does this ring a bell for anyone else, or am I just blathering into the aether?

  8. baconmonkey says:

    why not just bring metaphor to life and have him walk on the backs of average americans?

  9. jay says:

    I bet that puts a real dent in playing an authentic game of horseshoes.

  10. rjhatl says:

    Hmm. Wonder if they've ever heard of plywood. Cutting sheets of plywood into a walkway and then covering them with outdoor carpet or somesuch.

    But that would be too easy.

  11. balloonist says:

    The page you requested was not found.

    oh no 'they' got to the new york newsday

  12. They could line the walk with the bodies of dead marines/army/navy/air force personnel. He might be more used to that than asphalt...or american flags, or the constitution...oooh, that would be best....shredded pieces of constitution....or maybe he already considers all those things dirt under his feet as well...hhhmmmmm.

  13. violentbloom says:

    we were disappointed those weren't higer res so we could use them for our new veeper thing for monday. :( oh well. though bad pics of bush are like shooting fish in a barrel. sigh.