effective against both vampires and prophets

Rodolfo Esqueda removes solid silver nails from the mold used to make one of the pieces of jewelry in the 'The Passion of Christ' line of jewelry at the Bob Siemon Designs plant in Santa Ana Calif., Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2004. The film opens Wednesday. (AP Photo/Chris Carlson)
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23 Responses:

  1. kdarr says:

    And werewolves too, for that matter.

    But what about self-obsessed dogmatic Australian Catholic film directors on the verge of mental breakdown?

    We need something to take care of them, too.


  2. wouch says:

    If I were Jesus coming back to Earth seeing all these people with nails and crosses, I'll freak out and try the next planet...

  3. long story: short...

    Went to store yesterday, here in wichita ks. Owner of store is talking about the passion of christ to a customer's inquiry. Says "It's a terrific movie unworthy of any negative press, a really, really good film." The customer asks, "So, you've seen it?" (here in wichita it had only been in the theater for 5 hours at that moment) The owner guy says no but friends had and reported back to him. (again only 5 hours) The customer asks, "they saw it today?" He says, "NO."

    "I just know that the story is good."

    Propaganda is an effective tool.

    • It's the Greatest Story Ever Told. Not on the strength of the narrative, mind you; the fact that it's the only one you notionally go to Hell for not believing does give it somewhat of an unfair advantage in the greatest-story stakes.

    • solarbird says:

      DAMN YOU! You beat me to it.

      Tho' my version was going to be more like, "It's important to have a lot of crucifixion nails handy, just in case that bastard shows up again." ^_^

  4. four says:


  5. 33mhz says:

    Beware the error of Triclavianism!

  6. arpad says:

    from <lj user="towith">

    Afraid your messiah will fall from grace? Well no worries! With new, ultra-nails!

    cross sold separately

  7. zare_k says:

    Ooh, neat. Your very own limited-edition replica torture device! How fashionable.

  8. I just love the fact that they're silver. They should set up stalls in churches and sell 'em in batches of thirty.

  9. ronbar says:

    Now they just have to sell them in temples. Or synagogues, since the Romans killed all the Jewish priests for revenge against the Zionists.

    What I hate the most about Christianity is the portrayal of Jesus as a wimpy victim who cried and bled a lot. Is this the same Jesus that beat the fuck out of the money-changers in the temple? The same one who cussed out his disciples for telling him what to do?

    • Funnily enough, I was reading an article somewhere about the fact that the modern image of Jesus has been considerably macho-ed up, the turning point being a picture of him all craggy and manly that was distributed to troops in WW1. Teh Passion movie continues this tradition, with a leading man the best part of a foot taller than the original would have been (about 5'3"). Even Tom Cruise would be too tall to play Jesus. Gary Coleman would be better.

      • jwz says:

        Clearly what we need is an all-midget passion play. In the immortal words of Napoleon from Time Bandits, "Little people. Cruzzifying each ozzer. ZAT is vat I vant to zee."

  10. gths says:

    And stay there!

  11. Way to exploit Jesus, guys! *raises fist*

    WWJB ... What Would Jesus Bling?