I think it's funny that Mel Gibson's wankfest is now called "The Passion of The Christ" because that reminds me of the "Batman" / "The Batman" naming controversy.

[ LJ Poll 233487 ]

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48 Responses:

  1. stephendann says:

    Of course, I base this solely on the fact that The Jesus can't use The Simon/Peter when The Batman can use The Batmobile and The Batcave

    I may be The Wrong for The Assumption

    • merlinc says:

      Dude, son of God, vs son of some rich guy.

      You do the math!

      • stephendann says:

        Jesus = Nailed to cross, dies, escapes cave, nothing much happens, ascends to heaven anyway

        Batman = buried alive in coffin, escapes, captures guy who buried him. Delivers much needed beating to guy who buried him.

        No contest.


        • merlinc says:

          Dude, batman's only liek cool, cos he builds all these toys. Jezues doesn't need toys and gadgets and bat-a-thingys, cos he's da man! He's got god powers. All batman can do is go "Go Go Gadget Bat-powers!".

          No contest, at all. (and I'm not even bringing in the justice league of Moses, Abraham and Adams in on this either).

  2. grimmtooth says:

    Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

    FYI, "The Christ" was how Jesus was referred up until recently, when someone (I suspect 'merkans) started dropping the "the".

    But, enjoy.

    • ajshepherd says:

      Exactly. I think 'Christ' was more of a job title than anything else, like 'Jones The Plumber' or 'Smith The Electrician'.
      Wouldn't his real name have been more like 'Barjoseph' anyway?

    • avva says:

      No, that's not true.

      "Christ" was treated as a proper name since very early times, certainly when it came into (what then was) English, it already was a proper name. In the 16th century, there arose a tradition of using "the Christ" to refer to the literal meaning of Christos="the anointed one", which is the Greek translation of Hebrew mashiah=Messiah, also meaning, in Hebrew, "the anointed one". But "the Christ" was only used when referring to this title of Jesus and its theological significance (of Christ being the Messiah whose coming had been prophesied by the Jewish prophets), and the proper name "Christ" without the article always continued to be used alongside with it, and was always the form employed more often.

  3. zok says:

    Quite simple really. Batman beat Superman by bringing in The Kryptonite. All he has to do to beat Jebus is to bring in The Romans.

  4. ralesk says:

    Oh, the I thinks the someone has deserved the TheFerrett's Magic Wand of Fireballs.

  5. I voted The Jesus, but only if it's The Ninja Jesus.

  6. kingfox says:

    Dark Knight Returns Batman > Jesus > Superman > campy television Batman

  7. niban says:

    "Let me tell you something, bendeco.
    You pull any your crazy shit with
    us, you flash a piece out on the
    lanes, I'll take it away from you
    and stick it up your ass and pull
    the fucking trigger til it goes

    You said it, man. Nobody fucks with
    the Jesus.

    • federico says:

      It is "pendejo", not "bendeco".

      • niban says:

        if you knew where the quote came from you would know that the character pronounces it the way it is spelled, and that is part of what makes it so funny.

        but hey! thanks for the spelling lesson!

        • federico says:

          *shrug* It always sounded to me like the correct word, but maybe that is because one tends to ignore pronunciation errors in one's own language. I don't have the DVD at hand to check it, which is a shame, as that movie is worth watching over and over.

        • belgand says:

          I always have heard it as "pendajo" or rather "pen-day-ho" which I'm treating as close enough since I took Latin rather than Spanish.

  8. fdaapproved says:

    Oh. Whoops. THAT The Jesus. I thought we were talking about the one who'll stick that gun up your ass and pull the trigger 'til it goes "click"

  9. giles says:

    Does The Batman have The NailGun?

    And isn't it spelled "TeH"?

    Wouldn't it be great if this was all an elaborate hoax by Mel Gibson so he can live out his Simpsons appearance in reality by adding a shifty-eyed dog and a scene where Jesus shoots up the last supper?

  10. taffer says:

    "Help me Jeebus!"

  11. nester says:

    Of course, Laser Bruce Lee would kick both of their asses.

  12. Best recasting of religion versus science argument ever. Even better if they're wrestling.

  13. ivorjawa says:

    I saw a bumper sticker the other day, "Jesus is the answer".
    To what question?
    Obviously, "Who's the black private dick that's the sex machine to all the chicks?"

  14. tarabare says:

    "The Passion of The Christ" - sounds like a cross between the Passion soundtrack to the movie The Last Temptation of Christ. I didn't even realise that Mel Gibson had a wankfest for viewing, but wanted to wave to you anyhow :) hi!

  15. macguyver says:

    C'mon a rich guy with fancy toys versus supernatural powers? No contest!

    • cyeh says:

      Which side are you arguing for?

      As far as the supernatural powers thing goes, Jesus' powers were rather limited. I don't have my Bible handy, nor do I have access to a concordance, but my recollection of supernatural powers consists of:

      * Walking on water
      * Feeding the 5K with three fishes and couple of loaves.
      * Summoning fish into the nets of Peter's boat
      * Turning water into wine
      * Healing lepers
      * Curing blindness
      * Reincarnating dead girls

      There's also the philosophical matter of Jesus preaching 'Turn the other cheek' which would preclude him striking back.

      Maybe if you set a money changing table in front of Jesus, he could get mad and overturn that, but Batman would need to be sitting on it first.

      • macguyver says:

        Hmm, also resurrection - that's pretty good tho. Batman could kill him all day long...

        • dzm6 says:

          [The] Batman could kill him all day long...

          I'm a little vague on the whole coming back to life thing, but I vaguely recall something about it taking three days and then skipping town.

          This means that The Batman could in fact only kill The Jesus every three days, and then only if The Batman hangs around the exit to The Jesus Cave waiting for the hippie to skip town.

          • macguyver says:

            But that's just his last resort. He'll be hooking up with Moses and parting seas and hiding out in the desert, ready to convert Batman and declare victory.

      • jlindquist says:

        * Reincarnating dead girls

        That's generically "dead people". The New Testament isn't explicit on this point, but it is inferred that Lazarus had a penis.

        • cyeh says:

          I had forgotten Lazarus.

          Technically, it's not reincarnation, but resurrection since you're not reincarnating them into butterflies or whatever.

          Again, I didn't have a concordance handy.

      • nyquiljer says:

        I recently had a theory that perhaps many of the miracles Jesus performed were actually variations of a single miracle; multiplying fish.

        To walk on water all one must do is multiply any nearby fish enough that there'd be something solid to walk on.

        To summon the fish to the nets, all youd have to do is multiply them enough that they couldnt help but enter the nets.

        I havent yet worked out the blindness aspect, but according to scripture, upon healing the eyes, scales fell from them. Seems pretty clear that this miracle is fish related also.

        • enceladus says:

          I bet all the blind people Jesus healed were fishermen. As with any job there are hazards associated with it. Fishermen no doubt had to prepare the fish they caught while still out on the water and this includes scaling them. I propose that the winds caused tiny particles of scale to be blown into the eyes which, after years of fishing, caused glaucoma like covering of the eyes leading to blindness. Jesus just happened to have been into the then unknown study of optometry and recognized the cause of this ailment which allowed him to perform his miracle.

  16. jette says:

    Well, MY Teh Jesus would win but I'm not sure about Mel Gibson's.

  17. I swear we have a psychic connection... I was just reminded of "the Batman" and I was wondering if you'd ever host a poll... like they do on, it seemed you.

    (or at least your journal)

  18. babeee says:

    I must say - the only reason behind me going for The Batman over The Jesus, is that The Batman is still alive today :D

    If I was actually into believing the bible and all that, of course I'd have to say The Jesus, cause he'd like kick everyone's ass.

    But he's dead. And dead people don't win.

  19. hepkitten says:

    Perhaps this question can be answered at the next ISW

  20. belgand says:

    Rather interesting since I'm willing to accept Jesus as a real personal who has been credited with fictional, supernatural powers whereas Batman is a fictional person who has (although grossly exaggerated) no supernatural powers, but is rather just really committed, wealthy, and works out a lot.

  21. gfish says:

    I don't care if it's a wankfest; it's a movie all in Latin and Aramaic. I'm so there.

  22. Jesus beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor
    I got back up and knocked him to the floor
    He was being such a jackoff

    I wupped Christ's ass (repeat 10 times)

    Rock over London, rock on Chicago
    Wheaties, breakfast of champions