Hey kids, it's Exploding Whale Party Time!

Residents of Tainan learned a lesson in whale biology after the decomposing remains of a 60-ton sperm whale exploded on a busy street, showering nearby cars and shops with blood and organs and stopping traffic for hours. The 56-foot-long whale had been on a truck headed for a necropsy by researchers, when gases from internal decay caused its entrails to explode in the southern city of Tainan.

The whale drew the attention of locals because of its large penis, measured at some five feet, the Taipei Times reported. "More than 100 Tainan city residents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to 'experience' the size of its penis," the newspaper reported.

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41 Responses:

  1. rakafkaven says:

    Thar she blows!

    Oh. Oh, my. Arr.

    He! Thar he blows!

  2. tfofurn says:

    I wonder if this could've been prevented by some combination of plastic wrap and duct tape. Of course, the right answer is almost certainly to have poked holes in the darn thing to vent the gas!

    • roninspoon says:

      I suspect the incident could have been best avoided by not hauling the corpse of a 60 ton whale on an open flat bed truck secured by little more than what appears to be two lengths of rope or cargo straps. I'm curious why any one was surprised when the escapade ended in a cascade of whale intestines. it vaguely reminds me of the people that try (unsuccesfully) to haul lumber away from Home Depot by balancing it on top of their car and trying to hold it steady by hand. It would seem that these types of people forget that the physical laws of the universe will not only keep the lumber moving beyond there capability to secure it but also cause an exposed wale carcass to explode when strapped to a truck. Exploding whales, the last unexplained physical law.

  3. tjcrowley says:

    I wish I had seen this in person.

  4. msjen says:

    That is, by far, the coolest thing you have ever posted.

  5. <gameshow-host>Woah baby, that's a lot of sperm!!</gameshow-host>

    I'm just relieved that no-one's yet referred to it as a "load".


  6. jayrtfm says:

    suggested music for this story:
    "Day Old Whale" by Uncle Bonsai

  7. pdx6 says:

    The whale drew the attention of locals because of its large penis, measured at some five feet

    Now we know who or what the "add inches to your penis" spams were directed to.

    60 inches, wow, it really does work!

  8. nosrialleon says:

    I, for one, &tc.

  9. giles says:

    And I thought they smelt bad on the outside.

  10. kyronfive says:

    Stealing my link, i see. ;)

  11. lrc says:

    And they didn't get Dave Barry to write the article?

  12. nzchrisb says:

    My flatmate showed me this morning, I'm surprised she beat you. For goodness sake, in this day and age, someone must have been pointing a video camera at this thing when it let go. Please let it be so.

  13. wow...thats...not right

  14. the most amusing part of the article is the change from the exploding innards to the penis.

    They just HAD to mention the penis.

  15. 5tephe says:

    Man: that is fantastic!
    But where is the link to the original site? I want to know where the whale came from: died in a zoo? beached self? or is this actually some of the 'research' that the Japanese insist they need to do on thousands of whales each year? (the leftover meat from which can fortunately be put to good use in restaraunts: so that's nice)

    And can I just say that the man looking at the mo-ped NEEDs a caption, or thought bubble. Any ideas?

    • jwz says:

      Here in the future, we have this invention called a "hyperlink" which can be placed on what we call an "image" and accessed via "clicking".

  16. mocrack says:

    Is what did it sound like?
    Was it a sharp *bang*, or more of a splattering noise?
    I'm personally betting that it was something like a big wet fart,
    but my experience in the area of exploding whale science is,
    unfortunately, lacking.

  17. traal says:

    "Oh, not again!"

  18. rantzilla says:

    I am most joyously reminded of this or this (slower).

  19. korto_lilith says:

    EEEWWWOOO!!! Gross!

    "More than 100 Tainan city residents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to 'experience' the size of its penis,"

    Now you realise that MEN are obsessed with sex and size!
    What were those guys doing, anyway, measuring and comparing?

  20. vbitterx says:

    omg! thats so sick yet great at the same time...

  21. headgardener says:

    You'd think a large decomposing whale trucking along the local road would be attention-grabbing enough in itself...

  22. retrodiva1 says:

    Ok everyone has their level of acceptance. I am shocked and appauled by cow fisting but exploding dead whales...laughing my ass off.