"dear japanese people"

Recently the usual suspects have been hot on the trail of all manner of costume-oriented perversions, such as middle aged men dressing up as RealDolls or cartoons and fluttering around for the camera.

But the one detail that I think it's most important for you to take home with you is that, in Japan, RealDolls do in fact come not only in the expected freakazoid anime style, but also in children's sizes. (A, B, C.) (And no, these are not just mannequins.)

It appears that they also come with removable eyes. If you know what I mean and I think you do.

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32 Responses:

  1. doubleyou says:

    Michael Jackson should move to Japan, where they seem to be more tolerant of his, um, quirks.

    • doubleyou says:

      Okay, that was just wrong of me. I passed judgement on someone in the absence of concrete evidence, and I made a sweeping generalization of another culture, all in one swell foop. But it was in the name of humour, so it's okay, right...?

      • violentbloom says:

        the man has an alarm to warn him of people coming down the hall to his bedroom where he sleeps in the same bed with children.

        frankly I think that's fairly creepy and sways me greatly.

        I've always thought they should just give pedifiles a child sized real doll when they're released, maybe that will keep them out of trouble.

        • doubleyou says:

          Okay, I didn't know about that.

          But then, I try to waste as few calories thinking about the this particular media circus as I possibly can (present thread being a notable exception).

        • jwz says:

          Q: Why do the kids always leave Neverland Ranch on time in the morning?
          A: Because they got their shit packed the night before.

          Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at MJ's house?
          A: It's when the big hand touches the little hand.

          • violentbloom says:

            how is michael jackson and a child like a hamburger?

            44 year old meat between fresh buns.

          • gregv says:

            Why does Michael Jackson like twenty six year olds?

            Because there are twenty of them.

            (Doesn't work as well in print because of the dash/no dash thing. Oh well.)

          • marmoset says:

            Why did Michael Jackson show up at Wal-Mart at 6AM?

            To be first in line for the sale: boys jeans, half-off.

          • unabomber says:

            Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

            A: One is made of plastic and is unsafe for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.

            Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper?

            A: Michael Jackson's hand.

            Q: Why is Michael Jackson upset with Boyz-2-Men?

            A: He found out they weren't a delivery service.

            Did you hear about the new Michael Jackson doll? It comes in a little can.


          • jc says:

            Why does Michael Jackson like rum?

            Because he can either be black or white, and he comes in tots.

  2. ch says:

    nothing like getting home from the store with a set of new eyeballs for your child-sized love doll and finding out they're the wrong size. i hate it when that happens.

  3. psymbiotic says:

    Man, the Bomb really fucked those people up...

    Egan >:p

  4. mrmustard says:

    Thank you, <lj user="JWZ">. I am always looking for new perversions. I like to be up on the latest, so I can say things like "sorry I'm late, I was having sex with a Dolphin" or "I didn't make it to your party because the nurse wouldn't let me out of the crib" etc. etc.

    This one caught me by surprise. It makes so much sense. Why don't we all wear masks for everything? I think I might buy a Mickey Mouse head and wear it when I go to do my banking.

  5. scosol says:

    jesus man- you and i are alike in the vein of "appreciation for random shit" but goddamn-
    i still cant decide- disturbing atrocity or healthy outlet?

  6. kumimonster says:

    the removable eyeballs make it much more convenient to wash and clean for those that are into the eyeballlicking fetish.

    and yes. there is such a thing
    and yes. i do know of some.

    almost want one just to have

  7. uh. wow. i'm not easily surprised by people's weirdass sex habits, especially the japanese, these days, but now i'm freaked out. especially after seeing that video. jeezus.

  8. http://my.reset.jp/~tabo/lora-x.html

    it's a video. bleck. Things like this seriously challange my pseudo-libertarian outlook.

    • giles says:

      So... the realistic moving eyes make up for the fact that her mouth is a gaping inverted sock? Sometimes I wish I could read Japanese.

      Or... not.

      • I know someone who can read it rather well, but I don't want to know what it really says. If you really want to know I can ask them.

        • giles says:

          No. Please don't. In my mind it says:

          "Why would someone do this? We present this video as a warning to all humans. Please do not show JWZ, it upsets him so."

  9. fo0bar says:

    Fuck, that's a middle aged man?

    Excuse me, I must scrub my eyeballs now.

    • jwz says:

      Ok, I'm just assuming about that one. But there's also this and this. You really must chase all the links above to truly comprehend what a... diverse and magical world it is in which we live.

  10. I'll take two...:):)