(The lack of detail here makes me doubtful, but I understand that they wouldn't be allowed to print it if it weren't true.)

Chicken Little:

In San Francisco, you never know what you're going to find when you knock on a car window -- but nothing prepared the cops for what they found the night of Nov. 3 down by Aquatic Park.

The window came down and there was a guy with a chicken sitting on his lap and a second chicken in a bag on the passenger seat.

"What's with the chickens?" the cop asked.

"I'm going to take them home and eat them,'' the driver replied.

"Lift up the chicken,'' the cop said.

The driver did -- and the next thing you know, the driver was in cuffs and the chickens were on their way to the humane society -- where (we kid you not) the hens were given a sexual battery exam by a vet the cops called in.

All we can say is, it's going to make for some very interesting testimony on the witness stand.

"But the killer will be the other evidence,'' a law enforcement source said. "A 15-ounce jar of Vaseline... with three feathers in it.''

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10 Responses:

  1. violentbloom says:

    it's a special basting process

  2. pvck says:

    Ah, how many of us live in fear of those four terrible words, "Lift up the chicken"...

    Btw, hope you don't mind yet another random stranger friending you and leaving witless comentary on your posts. I've been a fan of your work for awhile, and was glad to find you had a lj.

  3. kiad says:

    Doubtful that it actually happened or that it is possible?

    Unfortunately, it is most assurely possible. I even have a .mpg to prove it. Sad, sad.


  4. I can just see his defence going..

    "He misheard an earlier instruction from his boss to Go and 'pluck' the chicken!"

  5. ooshiny says:

    This brings so much more validation to the tried-and-true "Why did the pervert cross the road?" joke.