today's game, should you choose to accept it:

Please summarize the current state of your life.
But in your response, use exactly eight words.
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video game hindsight

A video game magazine asked a bunch of 10- to 13-year-olds to review classic video games. It's pretty funny...

Niko: Hey, Pong. My parents played this game.
Brian: It takes this whole console just to do Pong?
Andrew: This is a lot like that game. Um, whatchamacallit -- air hockey.
Sheldon: Except worse.
Andrew: Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip.
Becky: I don't even see the point of having sound on this.
Andrew: Wow. The score is tied. It's so exhilarating.

EGM: This game was so popular in Japan that
John: They made it into a TV show?
EGM: Well, no. It was so popular that they ran out -
John: Oh, did they make collectible trading cards for it?
EGM: Um, no. It was so popular that there was a shortage of the coins used to play it.
John: But you can get this game on a cell phone. Why would you want to pay for it in an arcade?

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Current Music: someone going "disco! disco! the music is my life!" on the DNA webcast.

Brand Necrophilia

So I just wanted to get that out there.

(In regards, of course, to AOL's "repurposing" of the name "Netscape" to refer to a bargain-basement AOL service.)

The best part of this latest bit of corpse-fucking is going to be the browser: because there's no way that "AOL lite" is going to ship with Mozilla, right? They fired all the Mozilla developers, after all, because they have a new MSIE contract. So they'll ship a branded MSIE.

It will be "the Netscape version of Microsoft Internet Explorer."

That's just so wonderfully head-explodey!

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Communists own the skies once more!

Yang said he would "gain honor for the People's Liberation Army and for the Chinese nation." "I will not disappoint the motherland," he was quoted as saying. "I will complete each movement with total concentration."

Earlier this week, state-run CCTV cancelled plans to broadcast live television pictures of the launch on the advice of "space experts." Observers said China's leaders considered the political risks of a launch failure too great to allow live coverage. No outside journalists were allowed permits to cover the event, with only a few representatives of Chinese state-run media observing the launch.

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Kill Bill

"Kill Bill" totally rules. Go see it immediately.
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we are momentarily safe from the dreaded monkey/robot coalition

Primate ignores swooning robot:

Researchers at Waseda University had hoped the two would mingle, proving that robots bear mammal-like qualities. But the 10-year-old-male monkey, named Choromatsu, paid little attention Saturday to the swooning robot, whose flashy metallic eyelashes and bulging synthetic eyeballs failed to charm. Choromatsu sat with a scowl through most of the session, often staring at the ceiling or looking at researchers and photographers gathered in the room.
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robot / human / corporate mascot kumite

Exhibit A
Exhibit B

Fight!     

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I, for one, welcome our sumo toddler robot masters

Martial arts robots hit Asian tech fair:

Visitors to CEATEC 2003 met Morph3, a human-like robot about 30 centimetres tall developed by researchers at the Chiba Institute of Technology in Japan. It can perform back flips and karate moves thanks to 138 pressure sensors, 30 different onboard motors and 14 computer processors.

Another miniature humanoid robot on display was Fujitsu's HOAP-2. This droid has been programmed to perform moves from the Chinese martial art taijiquan, as well as Japanese Sumo wrestling stances.

Sony's toddler robot makes strides:

Qrio -- a toddler-sized machine in an aluminum sleeper and a space helmet--can navigate an obstacle course, right itself after a fall, sense heat and surfaces, recognize people through their voice or face, and respond with gestures or words to questions, according to Sony.

At the end of Idei's speech, the robot executed with fair fluidly what resembled an aerobics routine, and answered some questions. "I love California. It is the same voltage as in Japan," Qrio said. "I just hope there are no blackouts during my stay."

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I, for one, welcome our cyborg monkey masters

Monkeys Control Robotic Arm With Brain Implants:

Scientists in North Carolina have built a brain implant that lets monkeys control a robotic arm with their thoughts. [...] The new work is the first in which any animal has learned to use its brain to move a robotic device in all directions in space and to perform a mixture of interrelated movements -- such as reaching toward an object, grasping it and adjusting the grip strength depending on how heavy the object is. [...]

After removing patches of skull from two monkeys to expose the outer surface of their brains, Nicolelis and his colleagues stuck 96 of those tiny wires about a millimeter deep in one monkey's brain and 320 of them in the other animal's brain. The surgeries ended with the pouring of a substance like dental cement over the area to substitute for the missing bits of skull.

The monkeys were unaffected by the surgery, Nicolelis said. But now they had tufts of wires protruding from their heads, which could be hooked up to other wires that ran through a computer and on to a large mechanical arm.

[[AND WHY ARE THERE NO PICTURES OF THIS?]]

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Magnae Clunes

"Baby Got Back" translated to Latin and Greek.

"magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri."
("large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.")
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