Gonna get me a double-wide...

Tags: ,

cry me a fucking river

Parasitic nuisances sue over do-not-call list:

"The telemarketing industry estimates the do-not-call list could cut its business in half, costing it up to $50 billion in sales each year. Implementing the list could also eliminate up to two million jobs, the ATA said."

"The free government registry for blocking telephone sales pitches has grown to more than 28 million numbers since it was opened June 27. The FTC has predicted registration to grow to 60 million numbers by next summer."

Tags: , ,

DNA Lounge: Wherein I give you a tour of the blistering power buried inside my phone.

In case you haven't seen it yet, last month the SF Bay Guardian ran an article about life as a club bouncer entitled "These Aren't My Pants!" It's hilarious and you must all go read it now. I'll wait.

Just for laughs, I tried visiting the DNA Lounge web site on the web browser built into my cell phone. This was pure comedy, I'm telling you! We are so totally not living in the future yet...

It started out ok, aside from being insanely slow (I think it might have actually been dialing a separate call for each pixel). I saw the DNA Lounge logo come up right away, but then it sat there and wouldn't let me scroll for several minutes while it loaded the rest of the page. I had plenty of time to meditate on the fact that the text that I could see was overlapping in a classy way.

Then boom! "Insufficient memory." I hit OK, which I assume "restarted my browser", but really what it meant was, now I was able to scroll around in the page.

After scrolling down, I noticed something else odd. The table of future events seemed to only have column 3 visible: the "buy" link and the text of the date didn't show up at all...

Scrolling more, I was able to see the first two of the six thumbnails (the others hadn't loaded.) The text at the bottom of the page was even readable... But something important was missing. The left-side menu wasn't there at all, meaning there was almost no navigation available. Oops. Well, the link to the Calendar was there, so I clicked on it.

404? WTF? (I guess the gag 404 message that I use is strangely appropriate when being viewed on a phone, huh?) Anyway, some digging around shows that the 404 is because the phone's web browser is buggy: it doesn't understand anchors, and when it sees a URL that ends in "07.html#28", instead of loading "07.html" and scrolling to the "28" anchor, it tries to load the file "07.html#28", which of course doesn't exist. This is a seriously rookie move, and I can't imagine how anything works at all in their browser. Oh wait, I forgot: nothing actually does! Silly me.

Anyway, moving right along, I typed in the calendar URL by hand, which only took me about ten minutes. It looked, uh, arty? Certainly somewhat less than completely legible, as you can see. But at least this time I got overlapping text instead of big chunks of text being just totally missing. It's unclear whether that was an improvement.

In conclusion, I have found that my phone does not make a good web browser, and that we are not yet living in the future. Thank you and good night.

Tags: ,