apparently I'm the scab you can't stop picking at

I'm always amazed at how many people read the crap I post here.

And it seems like any time I write something technical (as opposed to the usual stream of links to monkey and poop gags) the hate mail starts flowing right away. I don't get it: there seems to be this large set of people whom I pretty much universally piss off, and yet, they seem unable to change the channel. What the hell? I don't even read the blogs of people I think are idiots! (Also, none of them spell my name right when they whine about me, despite this amazing technology we have called cut-and-paste. "It's not that hard: Nayee-Nanajar. Nayeenanajar.")

Dear ______, who is a True Believer in the _______ software and/or technology. Yes, I just called your baby ugly. Yes I did. I'm a bad, bad person who certainly doesn't know what he's talking about. I understand. Thank you, drive through.

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Current Music: Boss Hog -- Jaguar ♬

20 Responses:

  1. hepkitten says:

    They just all want to drink your carbonated pee. :(

  2. m4dh4tt3r says:

    Geeks are rabid mongrels that like to fight over stupid shit and get horribly offended when anyone has trouble with their pristine, bugless software. It's lame, and it's part of the reason I got out of working in the tech industry as a profession. Too much religion.

  3. king_mob says:

    I suspect it has something to do with your status as Alpha Geek. They think there's going to be such status to proving you wrong about something.

    Yes, I do know that you just sell beer now.

  4. billemon says:


    Z-A-V-I-N-S-K-Y, right?

  5. altamira16 says:

    You don't read my blog because I am an idiot! I see how it is. You're gonna get yourself de-friended, mister.

    The poop things scared me. I have no idea why some people are so obsessed with poop.

    • kraig says:

      Because poop is _funny_.
      (So are monkeys, but monkeys are also cool, whereas poop is only just also stinky.)
      (Only now that I think of it, monkeys are also stinky, but that just adds to their coolness, whereas poop has to be *really* stinky to be cool.)

  6. ex_shaggy817 says:

    Kissenger once said "University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small".

    It applies equally the same to choice of text editor, window manager, $foo component, etc...

  7. psr says:

    I read your blog because I often disagree with you, and most of the time you're right.

    Its good to be challenged, especially by people who have more experience than you, thats the way you learn.

    When I do agree with you I get to feel kinda rightous.

    [Just got in from a club, kinda drunk, otherwise I wouldn't be drawing attention to myself.]

  8. candid says:

    "Ugly babies need the most attention."

  9. zonereyrie says:

    I don't get it either. I write fanfic with some friends, have for over 10 years now, and we have these weird anti-fans who claim not to like one or another of our universes, yet they just keep reading. I've received emails which say things like "It pains me to read your stories, stop writing them!"

    I get this Clockwork Orange mental image of some guy strapped to a chair with a VT in front of him set to smooth scroll the text by...

  10. nosrialleon says:

    Yew have offended mah honor, Suh. Ah challenge yew too a duel.
    *slaps JWZ's face with gloves

  11. tfofurn says:

    Can you think of a time that you weren't at the center of controversy? From what I've read, people have been complaining to/about you for well over a decade now about one geek thing or another. Why should they stop now? Surely you've got the skin for it.

  12. ralesk says:

       You *blee blee bleep* CSS-hater you, grrrr :P


  13. sachmet says:

    Some people just don't get that you can be geeky and cool at the same time.


  14. crackmonkey says:

    I'm somewhat amazed that someone (besides Scott Adams) hasn't written a book specifically about dealing with geeks/nerds.

    The geeks who perceive themselves as sub-alpha for various reasons (self esteem, career length size of chop on shoulder, etc) always want to have the "Someone famous is an idiot" story. Some try to have it about Linus, others about RMS (That one's not hard, however), and the list goes on and on. If you've been in the news, and you're seen as successful (released an app people use or "I don't ever have to work again" seem to be equivalent in some cases), then you're prime candidate for this.

    Even at work, it's less fulfilling to some, but whomever is on top is like the pinata for the people who want to be on top. What's always struck me as strange about this is how backwards it is from the best environments I've been in where there was no top because everyone liked what they did and didn't give a shit about who was best. There was competition, but not fighting.

    You could start posting the names and email addresses of said flamers, providing cross-references to other material they've written, for future employers to peruse and reject based upon social incompetence. That might stem the tide, or it might just encourage anonymous remail use.

    And I've shown I'm a geek by writing a bunch of crap all over someone else's journal, believing it had some value. Have a good Sunday :)

  15. evan says:

    I just found this page, where someone did *exactly* what you said (it's a ways down; search for "jwz" if you care to read it). The best part is that in that very (passive-agressive weblog equivalent of) hate mail he links your rant where you proclaim, "Web designers, and especially blogging web designers, are self-important fuckheads."

    • evan says:

      (Oh, but now I read your comment on that page and it all sorta clicks in my head why you wrote this. Sorry for the spam.)

  16. wfaulk says:

    I'm always amazed at how many people read the crap I post here.

    Obviously, I don't know you and you don't know me. The only way I ever heard of you is because of your celebrity, such as it is. All of us, you included, I'm sure, have some odd attraction to celebrity. I can't imagine that I harbor any desire to be famous myself, but there's still some desire to feel familiar. Regardless, the only reason that I ever read your web site was because you were, or it was, famous.

    That being said, the only reason I continued to read it is because it's remarkably entertaining. And it has nothing to do with the content. Someone once said that some people say funny things and other people say things funny. Not that you don't have funny anecdotes, but you definitely fall in the latter category to me. And that's the mark of good expression, assuming that's what you're going for. (“It was supposed to be a dry diatribe on life in the Bay area!”)

    I'm a geek, too, but, a lot of the time when you're speaking of things technological, you're out of my bailiwick and I don't really understand what you're talking about. Somehow, it's still entertaining. And when I do, it's even more so, even if I don't agree.

    What I'm saying is that it's entertaining reading what you've written regardless of its content. I'm sure that's the case for the people you piss off, too. The difference being that they have some bone to pick based on religion, and can't let it go. Or, more likely, as someone else pointed out, they're as obsessed with celebrity as I am — I am responding to a person who's never heard of me, after all — and feel that tearing you down is their way of attaching themselves to it.

  17. elainegrey says:

    Wow. Your "CSS is BS" is #21 (declining) on DayPop. This could mean that people who don't know a JWZ from a KXA must pick at your CSS frustrations.