SUVs aren't the only ones who get to rock it offroad-style

So I'm bicycling down Mission Street, past a big construction site, and right after that, the lane goes away, cones everywhere, and of course, cars, all trying to change lanes at once and meaning me harm (as is their way.) So I'm rolling along, doing my best to stay alive, when suddenly I notice that the road ahead looks a little... off.

By "ahead" I mean "three feet ahead" and by "off" I mean "liquid."

I cross the boundary, and my wheels are immediately six to eight inches deep in wet cement. "Shiiiit!" I think, as I bounce on through, feeling the pedals getting harder and harder to push. It's a good thing I was already going pretty fast, or I'd still be there. I think the pond was ten or fifteen feet across, so I had a few seconds of panic to allow rzr_grl's offroad adventure to replay in my mind. As I bounced up over the lip on the far side of the pit, I tossed a glance over my shoulder and yelled "sorry!", only to see a couple of construction guys screaming at me and waving their arms. I pedaled faster in case they decided to pursue, wondering if my gears were going to solidify before I could escape.

At least there weren't a couple of guys crossing the street carrying a plate glass window. That would have been even more of a slapstick cliché than this was!

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14 Responses:

  1. The exact same thing happened to me a few weeks ago in front of the police station.

    Yuuuuuuck.

  2. thesliver says:

    Do you ever feel that someone should be trailing behind you filming your life (or you have little remote cameras), or perhaps you are grateful that you don't?

  3. deviant_ says:

    I hate it when that happens. Why can't they seem to understand that you have to *mark* these things?

    How's the bike?

  4. vxo says:

    I've run through wet cement before. I guess it was mostly solidified, as my wheel only sunk about 3/4" into the void. It left a neat tire print.

    The weirdest thing I've ever had happen while riding my bike was running over an algae-covered section of concrete while going insanely fast. It was in the shade of an oak tree, so the sun never got to shine directly on it, and it was kept wet almost constantly by rain and an over-zealous sprinkler system. It was like riding on greased glass... the brakes did nothing, and turning anywhere was impossible. Amazingly, I kept my balance for about 40 feet of that, narrowly avoided hitting a street sign, and somehow got onto some grass to regain control. You know how you get this weird adrenaline rush just before falling... but then catching yourself? That went on for maybe half an hour afterwards...

    The only time I've ever been pursued by a humanoid lifeform was when myself AND a guy on a motorcycle nearly got hit one night by a guy in an SUV running a stop sign. The guy in the SUV shouted "Motherfucker!" or something to that regard, and the guy on the motorcycle thought I'd shouted it, and started chasing me. I eventually lost him by winding through rows of parked cars in the parking garage of a condominium complex. It felt a lot like... well... any of the approximately 2,104 different movie chase scenes that took place in a parking garage.

  5. UNH! how come YOUR life is a never-ending panorama of exquisite comedic stylings?!?!?!?
    NO FAIR!!!

    • jwz says:

      You must not be trying hard enough -- you've got the perfect sitcom setup ("hard partying shrink") and you're letting it go to waste!

      • hmmm.
        y'know, you're RIGHT.
        i'll work on that this week!!

        actually, i can think of at least one mortifying but highly hilarious (in retrospect) incident that i'll only tell in person, as i feel too edgy about confidentiality issues to be putting it online (no matter HOW locked-down).

        god damned ETHICS!!! messing with my anecdotes!

      • flipzagging says:

        ...he's a hacker turned nightclub owner. Together, they fight... what do you guys want to fight?

  6. baconmonkey says:

    I tried to find it, but I couldn't find the pictures I once saw of a motorcycle cop stuck in a wet sidewalk. I have no clue where I originally saw that.