Keanu Reeves as John Constantine??? X2 producer Lauren Shuler Donner told SCI FI Wire that her next comic-book movie, Constantine, based on Vertigo Comics' John Constantine: Hellblazer, will be darker than her X-Men sequel. "It's PG-13, like X-Men, but the character doesn't have superpowers," Shuler Donner said. "It's really focused on John Constantine, and it's more spiritual. He sends demons back down to hell. It's a darker tone." [...] Production begins in September.

But at least we won't have to suffer through Keanu trying to do an accent. That's the lesser of two abominations, I suppose.

E Online: So what about the controversy? In which the movie version turns the very British John Constantine into an American? "Well, what we're saying is that he's American and this story does take place in L.A., but we do intimate that he works in many different cities," she said. "He's had many different adventures--in India, in London. He's a worldly character, basically."

Finally, we wonder if the Constantine plot was taken from a specific Hellblazer issue? "Do you know 'Dangerous Habits'?" Donner said, referring to one of the comic's greatest story arcs, penned by Preacher creator Garth Ennis when he took over writing the comic in 1991. "There's a lot of 'Dangerous Habits' in it."

Also: Nicolas Cage as Ghost Rider, James Marsden (Cyclops) as Jesse Custer. Fear. Fear!
Tags: , ,
Current Music: Chemlab -- Latex ♬

12 Responses:

  1. king_mob says:

    Well, it was originally supposed to be Nicolas Cage as Constantine. I can't decide if this new arrangement is worse or not.

    • jwz says:

      Well, I absolutely despise Nicholas Cage*, so about the only way that could have been worse would be if they had picked, I dunno, Carrot Top or Pauly Shore or someone.

      * with the single exception of Raising Arizona, which was like fifty years ago.

      • rzr_grl says:

        *don't forget Birdy, mister!

        How bad is this Mardsen? I DO FEAR. Other than being a fellow okie, everything else on IMDB looks pretty dismal...

        "Extreme Ghostbusters"
        "Touched by an Angel"
        "Party of Five"
        "Blossom" playing "Josh" in episode: "The Date"
        "Nanny, The"

        Even if I'm nice and forget the sitcoms and made-for-TV movies, the only thing I even recognize is Zoolander.

        Jesse Custer is fucking HAWT! If they screw this up, I'm gonna put the hurt on 'em.

  2. atakra says:

    John Constantine... AMERICAN? What, are they going to make his knowledge of the British occult stuff like Ley Lines and druid mysticism into the American equivelant; ie. Bigfoot, Elvis sightings, and internet myths?

    I just don't see it.

    • ciphergoth says:

      Never mind all that, what about the swearing? Constantine swearing like a Londoner is an essential part of his charm. Bollocks, innit?

      Let me guess, he doesn't smoke either?

      • atakra says:

        Maybe he smokes ultra-lite Virginia Slim's in this incarnation?
        Bollocks INDEED!

        • ciphergoth says:

          Well, it's not like Silk Cut's are exactly top strength cancer sticks. Personally I think it was an error in characterisation - they should have had him chain smoking B&H...

          • king_mob says:

            I always wondered about that. The first time I ever tried Silk Cut, after having read Hellblazer for a couple of years, I was expecting an experience reminiscent of moving next door to a toxic waste dump that was on fire. Instead: the rich taste of puffed air.

  3. psymbiotic says:

    I hope they don't fuck these up, the way the screwed the pooch with Riverworld. :/

    Egan >:>

  4. greyface says:

    Let's not skip this blonde guy Thomas Jane as the Punisher. Good god I hope they put him through the Will-Smith-for-Ali ringer, and he packs on 50 pounds of beef before putting he goes on camera as the Punisher. It wouldn't hurt if they broke his nose twice and his jaw once...

  5. omni_ferret says:

    I was surprised couldn't find anything about Hellblazer or Preacher on the Coming Attractions site. It gives me a glimmer of hope that those aren't really going to happen. Oh, and check the comments on the imdb links for the classic horrible casting threads.

    About Ghost Rider: It gets worse. Shots of makeup include a red-haired skull.

  6. jenx69 says:

    Sputter. Choke. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm just going to go kill myself right fucking now.

    Would it have killed them to put a single ounce of effort into turning a fucking great comic book with great stories into a great film?? Or how about even an acceptable film??

    There are only a zillion actors who would have been better than Keanu, god forbid they make it a blond dude who can pull off an english accent, or even an english actor. What about Rutger Hauer, Ewan McGregor, argh!!!! I for one thought Eddie Izzard would have been perfect. ANYONE but pretty boy Keanu!! Do you think anyone putting this turd together has even read the books??? Did anyone notice that he's a foul-mouthed chain smoker who gets kicked in the face every other episode? Forget it, he's in LA now. You can't smoke in LA.

    If I wasn't so hung over I'd go get drunk. Sorry about the rant, I just want to scream.

    Jen X.~