24 versus La Femme Nikita

So last night on 24, when Robert Glazer ("Operations" from La Femme Nikita) showed up as the latest pseudo-governmental conspirator, it finally clicked for me that "CTU" and "Section One" are the same damned thing. We've got:

  • The Undisclosed Location, with its faux-industrial 80s music video decor;
  • "George from Oversight" versus "Chapelle from Central", the vague parent organization trying to take over and/or looking for a scapegoat;
  • The l33t hax0rs on staff, spending all day sitting at their Max Headroom terminals intercepting phone calls and speaking nonsense tech-babble about cryptography;
  • The vaguely sinister and self-serving boss has a glass office that looks down on the minions;
  • And terrorists, terrorists, terrorists, always from Undisclosed Countries.

Then while writing this I find out that Robert Cochran wrote both shows. Doh! No wonder!

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DNA Lounge: Wherein the Plumber Conspiracy is revealed.

Some corrections:

  • Apparently the sensor on that toilet has been missing for a while: it didn't vanish at the same time the partition was most recently knocked down.

  • Apparently Paradise Lounge's main room actually opened for business last saturday!

So, speaking of the toilet sensors... in addition to the one that's gone missing, we've always had trouble with the sensors on the toilets and sinks: with them activating too often, or not often enough, or with the batteries in them dying way faster than they should.

Yesterday, Jason was calling around trying to find a plumber who is an authorized dealer in these sensors, and what he learned is that we're apparently on a plumber blacklist! He left a few messages, and when he finally got an appropriate plumber on the phone, the guy said, "Sure, I can come out tomorrow. Where are you?" Jason told him, and the guy said, "Wait, is that a nightclub?" Yes... "Which one?" DNA Lounge... "Oh. Sorry, I can't make it. <click>"

How did this come about? Well, we have a theory...

We did a lot of business with the plumbing supply place down the street from us: we bought pretty much everything plumbing related that's in the club through them, from toilets on up, and we had a pretty good relationship with them. Then one night, several months ago, that business's owner and his pregnant wife showed up here, and we comped them in. He handed Barry a CD and said, "Hey, get the DJ to play our song, ok?" The night was Qoöl, a progressive house/trance night, and the song he wanted to hear was some salsa thing. Barry said, "Well, I can ask the DJ, but he's probably going to say no, because it's not the kind of music they do. It's their party, not ours." Plumbing man got mad and said, "Hey, you're the BOSS, just fucking TELL them to do it!" Barry tried to explain that that's not how it works. Plumbing man got absolutely furious and started screaming. He wouldn't settle down, to the point that the security guys had to throw him out.

So I guess he called up all his pals and got them to agree not to sell to us! Amazing...

Fortunately the main distributor of the sensors doesn't know anything about this nonsense, so he's willing to help us out. But get this: when Jason explained to him the kinds of problems we've been having, the first thing the guy said was, "You're not using these sensors with stainless steel sinks, are you?"

Why yes. Yes we are.

"It says all over the box and manual that you can't use these in a reflective environment. It makes them go nuts! Your contractor should have known that!"

We have so much love for the plumbers and general contractor we used during construction. So much love. Man, those guys robbed us good.

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beware the disembodied nun head

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Current Music: Ogre -- Borderline ♬

some sarcophagus!

The concrete shield thrown up to block radiation escaping the Chernobyl nuclear power station after it exploded in 1986 is collapsing and needs urgent reinforcement, Russia's atomic energy minister said April 22, 2003. A radiation level check is shown being taken outside the concrete sarcophagus housing the nuclear power plant's fourth reactor, April 21, 2001. (Gleb Garanich / Reuters)

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Last week, the Madonna Corporation flooded the Kazaa with MP3 files purporting to be tracks from her new album that consisted only of her saying "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" (There was immediately an uninspired gag techno remix of that, which I didn't save the link to: it wasn't very good.)

Yesterday, madonna.com was hacked to say "This is what the fuck I think I'm doing", along with downloadable MP3s of the real versions of the songs in question! Screenshot.