National Guardsman Optimus Prime

15 years ago

National guardman changed his name to a toy

CUYAHOGA FALLS -- A member of Ohio's 5694th National Guard Unit in Mansfield legally changed his name to a Transformers toy.

Optimus Prime is heading out to the Middle East with his guard unit on Wednesday to provide fire protection for airfields under combat.

"On Sunday, we were awarded as the best firefighting unit in the Army National Guard in the entire country," said Prime. "That was a big moment for us."

Prime took his name from the leader of the Autobots Transformers, which were popular toys and a children's cartoon in the 1980s. He legally changed his name on his 30th birthday and now it's on everything from his driver's licence, to his military ID, to his uniform.

"They razzed me for three months to no end," said Prime. "They really dug into me about it."

"I got a letter from a general at the Pentagon when the name change went through and he says it was great to have the employ of the commander of the Autobots in the National Guard."

Prime says the toy actually filled a void in his life when it came out. "My dad passed away the year before and I didn't have anybody really around, so I really latched onto him when i was a kid," he said.

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13 Responses:

  1. baconmonkey says:
    15 years ago at 6:44 pm

    as if the mass of furry websites wasn't proof enough, this is the difinative evidence that the sad, wretched, and socially inept are taking over.
  2. ctudball says:
    15 years ago at 7:19 pm

    Now I am tempted to change my name to Skeletor.
  3. bokane says:
    15 years ago at 7:35 pm

    Bastard stole my idea.
  4. rhiannonstone says:
    15 years ago at 8:58 pm

    I don't know if that's incredibly cool or incredibly lame...
  5. king_mob says:
    15 years ago at 10:08 pm

    Shit, I know guys in that unit. It's an hour from here.

    They're mostly losers too.
    • stega says:
      15 years ago at 6:50 am

      I have this sinking suspicion that this is one of my former employees. Anyone know what his name was before he changed it?
  6. neschek says:
    15 years ago at 11:24 pm

    That is totally, totally awesome. I've never been prouder to be from Ohio.
  7. e_richard says:
    15 years ago at 1:00 am

    Wow. This guy rocks.. :)
  8. unabomber says:
    15 years ago at 1:19 am

    When they ship him off to Iraq, will he be in vehicle mode?

    And doesn't he die in 2005?

    -Jon
  9. zonereyrie says:
    15 years ago at 2:29 am

    Hey, I'm all for it. (Of course, I changed my name to MegaZone, so I would say that. Yes, legally.)
  10. marm0t says:
    15 years ago at 2:58 am

    They teased me for three months to no end once, too.

    WHAT?

    Also, hi. <lj user=genericus> showed me your page about the ATM machine at the DNA Lounge and I lost my shit, so now I'm friending you. Take THAT.