oh no, soap! bring some dirt to put it out!

So apparently one of my giant "I-hate-grocery-stores"-sized drums of liquid laundry detergent had a small leak in it. I vaguely recall rzr_grl mentioning this to me. Uh. A week or two ago. So of course it's all over my laundry room floor, and even after sopping it up with the conveniently-located dirty clothes, the floor's still all slippery. And I can't even get the shit off my hands, since laundry soap is so much more oily than hand-soap is. Yuck!

Fortunately the leaky container was sitting atop some big plastic storage boxes, and most of the puddle made its way into one of the boxes (though of course enough dribbled down the side to coat the floor pretty evenly.) So I've got this 3' plastic box with about half a gallon of viscous blue goo in it. What do I do? Well, I get a cup and I scoop it back into the other (un-punctured) laundry detergent bottle, of course! How ghetto is that? I felt a little silly doing it, but I told myself "every cup you scoop is two more weeks that you can put off going back to the store."

You might be shocked and amazed to know that my laundry room does double duty as the place to stack all kinds of useless junk, the bottom of which is now also sticky (yet, in some sense, very, very clean.) I should probably just call in an air strike and burn the room to the ground, but the B Option is also looking pretty attractive ("if I can't easily see or reach the puddle of detergent, it's probably not really there.")

Oh, and that box? It had been used for Burning Man transport, so now there's lint and Playa dust in the soap bottle. But that's ok, right, because soap is, by definition, clean.

It's days like this that I feel deeply unqualified for adulthood.

Current Music: Red Aunts -- Mota ♬

16 Responses:

  1. I'm guessing your laundry room is not so cool as to have a drain set in its floor. If so, I'd just hose the whole mess down. While soap is clean, it's also sticky, and all the dirt and playa dust will stick to it.

    Of course, this means that whenever the floor does get mopped, it'll mop pretty well with all that soap there.

    As for hating grocery stores, I highly recommend Safeway delivery. Only ten bucks to order your groceries online and have them delivered. Never enter a store again!

  2. jon says:

    Wow, jwz experiences a non-computer-or-club-related disaster!

  3. zapevaj says:

    Isn't this the kind of LJ entry that you used to complain about other people posting? *poke poke*

  4. atakra says:

    I'm just amazed that you even wash your own clothes! Doesn't the DNA's incredibly HUGE slush fund account afford you the ability of having your personal shopper buy you new socks and underwear instead? Even the atakra.com maid topless maid service is astounded at this news!

    • icis_machine says:

      "your personal shopper"

      don't you mean your personal fanboy cum personal assistant?

      besides, i'm just picturing the ensuing impromptu foam party once the room floods. if memory serves me correctly you merely need to consume a malt liqour beverage and add some more soap to the washer, then hot chicks come out of the foam and dance with you. it will be a totally new thing for jwz.

  5. cyantist says:

    if I can't easily see or reach the puddle of detergent, it's probably not really there.

    does this really work? this is something i need to work very hard on trying to do.

    the other day, i spilled half a cup of coffee with milk and sugar in a friend's car. i looked all over the car for something to wipe up my mess with and remembered that a guy friend of mine told me that he keeps tampons in his car for spilled drinks. how he figured this one out, i have no idea, but it fucking works like a charm. the words "super absorbency" take on a new meaning here.

    with soap stickiness.. i doubt tampons will help you with your dilemma, however i was debating that perhaps you could become a super hero and punish your enemies by making them lick soap off the bottom of your laundry room floor. you can be jwz .. LAUNDER MAN.

    • rzr_grl says:

      a guy friend of mine told me that he keeps tampons in his car for spilled drinks

      And you believed this?!?

      • l34f says:

        They're also useful for stanching the flow of blood from gunshot wounds...
        But i bet he kept them around as a courtesy to passengers in need of unexpected flow control, and maybe didn't want to admit to being a SNAG.

  6. thesliver says:

    It's days like this that I feel deeply unqualified for adulthood.

    This does not go away believe me.

  7. daonnan says:

    playa dust and laundry detergent thats a winning and sticky combo.

    I have a entire trunk full of playa dust covered camping gear that can't seem to make it into the house.

  8. vxo says:

    I had a distastrous fabric softener spill in my laundry room once.

    After the entire bottle of softener fell behind the washing machine and split open as it hit some pipes, I reached down to retreive it.

    I went into the other room for a moment, leaving the machine still running.

    During that time, the drain hose popped out of the standpipe and fell to the floor. Thusly, the washer began unloading soapy water all over the floor as well. When it detected the water level dropping, it promptly turned off the motor and began trying to refill. Two minutes later, I returned, opened the door (which has a rubber seal under it), and water went from oozing out around the door to GUSHING into the kitchen.

    The resulting mess was slicker than black ice...

    (thank Eris for wet vacs!)

  9. susano_otter says:

    because soap is, by definition, clean.

    Sadly, this is not true. [Laundry] Soap is, by definition, a sticky, messy goo. It does, however, bind with water to form that foamy, soapy-smelling slurry that we all know and love. With proper agitation, &c. it grabs onto dirt/oil (in its sticky phase), and then drags the dirt down the drain (in its water-bound runny phase). Soap isn't clean; it makes things clean through the magic of chemistry. Just add water :)