He is the funniest man alive.
- As your attorney, I strongly advise you to see this show.
- As your attorney, I strongly advise you to see this show as well.
The prudent thing, therefore, would be to see Nina on the 7th. If you missed her when she played in August, then you'll just have to take my word for how amazing her show was.
I'll admit that last year's Rollins show wasn't as gut-bustingly hilarous as previous years had been, but here's a summary of some of the stories I remember him telling on previous tours. This doesn't do it justice, but I assure you, when he told these stories himself, I laughed so hard I almost peed. I assume you had to be there, so be there!
J. Berger posted this report of the 10/31 Seattle, WA show to the Rollins-talk list on 11/10:
<lj-cut text=" here comes the funny ">
TO whomever it was that wanted to hear some more of Henry and Ian's childhood antics, here you go. When I saw Henry at the Paramount in Seattle on halloween, he told one story about when he and Ian worked at an Ice Cream store. Well, Ian got Henry to put ice cream and strawberry all over his head, while Ian put ice cream and chocolate all over his own head. When a customer came in they both sat there, deadpan and asked the guy if they could help him. The guy looked at the two of them strangely as ice cream and syrup was running down their faces and onto their clothes. The man asks what is going on, and Ian says that the owner is doing an instore promo and doesn't have alot of money, so they are human sundaes.
OH, and another one at the ice cream store was when Ian put rat poison (which at the time I guess looked like little pieces of bubble gum) into one of the bins. One guy came in and saw the rat poison and said, I'd like the bubblegum. Ian said, Sir, that's rat poison. The guy said, are you serious? Ian replied, very serious sir. Give me the bubblegum the guy said thinking it was a joke. Ian looked at him and said, it's really rat poison sir. It will kill you. The guy said, well why the hell would you put rat poison in there? Ian goes, I thought you might want a variety sir. NO shit, it was fuckin' hilarious.
Anyway, another time was when the two of them worked at a movie theatre. There was some old film that was playing there that had this orgy scene in it. Well, after the millionth time the two had memorized the music and the scene, so they took the old ticket stubs and right before the climax of the scene, they ran like fairies down the aisles throwing the ticket stubs, which looked like rose petals. Then they ran to the front of the theatre and jumped into each other, bumping chests as the climax occurred. Then they ran back. And there was this fat guy who ran the projector and he always had to walk up these stairs to get to the projector and Henry and ian would make him come down as often as possible by telling him someone called or bringing his dinner, but not taking it up to him, which pissed him off as he walked down stairs and back up.
There's some stuff. he also mentioned the positive assault squad in Ian's car and the petstore fish massacre.