The 'most dreaded literary prize' has been won by Wendy Perriam for a description of pin-striped sex in her novel Tread Softly.
The annual Literary Review Bad Sex prize is awarded to the worst description of sex in a contemporary novel. This year's winner includes the lines "Weirdly, he was clad in pin-stripes at the same time as being naked. Pin-stripes were erotic, the uniform of fathers, two-dimensional fathers. Even Mr Hughes's penis had a seductive pin-striped foreskin."
"Coming a close second" was Nicolas Coleridge for a passage in his novel Godchildren, in which he describes a man stroking his lover "like a groom reassuring a frightened foal". [...]
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"Western finger of east arm of Mother's Day flow has entered Highcastle kipuka, setting small bushes on fire at base of vegetated tumulus."
Let's assume the following:
- Sunnydale's human population growth rate is 10% annually, which is at the high end for a budding California community.
- A vampire feeds every three days, and encounters about one hundred potential victims in the course of a day, meaning that 1 out of every 300 encounters involves a little refreshment.
- An individual vampire sires a victim every other year, or once per 240 feedings.
- Buffy and her Slayerettes, busy little beavers that they are, annually stake about 1/3 of the vampires plaguing Sunnydale.
- Vampires are flocking to Sunnydale, since the Hellmouth is the underwordly equivalent of Silicon Valley, and the demon labor market is just too good to be true. Thus, we'll assume a yearly migration rate of about 10%, or the same as for the humans.
[... The math starts off only slightly intimidating, but then gets downright scary. Don't skip out before the surprise attractor at the