ah, amateur hour

So it's saturday night amateur hour (just after 2, when the club down the street has kicked everyone out to begin their fun evening of drunk driving) and I go over to the window to see what the latest ruckus is about. Just below, there are these two guys kicking the doors and windows of an SUV, and screaming "you stupid bitch!" I can't see inside the car, but I'm guessing these two are looking for some ass kicking, and the person inside doesn't want to participate. This goes on for some time, but they're not doing anything really damaging; like, I'd expect the mirrors to be broken off by now. Then one of the guys goes over and pees on my building. This does not seem to be an act properly of the moment.

Then I figure out that what they keep screaming is in fact, "wake up, you stupid bitch."

They've been at it for twenty minutes now.

Update: 60 minutes. Though now they're mostly leaning on the car and looking sad.

Update 2: 90 minutes, and they smashed a window. They then stood there for another ten minutes shaking their friend, who still wouldn't wake up. Then they drove off. I assume to dump the body.

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9 Responses:

  1. psymbiotic says:

    I have nothing to add except:


    Stupid hairless monkeys!

    Egan >:>

  2. Uh, would it not have been a good idea to call police?

  3. kalischild says:


    See, your life IS full of adventure, it's just the vicarious kind. I really try not to differentiate; if I did, I'd have to honestly say it's always about 90%...(Okay, 75%) vicarious, and only about 25% my own instigation. then again, I would have said something witty (read suicidally stupid) to the freakbois. But that's jes me.

    • jwz says:

      I actually considered trying to be helpful, like by pointing out that if they'd just call a tow truck, the driver would be able to jimmy open the door. (They both had cell phones.) But they looked like the kind of assholes who would just give me a knee-jerk "fuck you", so instead I just watched and giggled.

  4. bassfingers says:

    "Friends help you move.

    Real friends help you move bodies."

  5. flavor says:

    ya gotta get some kind of electrified strip going along your club soon to shock all those drunks that pick the wrong building to piss on. Well, assuming them pissing on DNA is a bad thing in your eyes.

  6. retrodiva1 says:

    I think it's time to webcam the "outside" of the club. Considering what you've witnessed so far just think what you could cultivate and catch on film.