g0d'z l33t

These are out of order, but it's funnier if you read the punchline before the explanation:

edunbar93 wrote:

Plus character substitution:

0wr F4th3R, wh0 0wnz h34\/3n, j00 r0x0rs! M4y 4|| 0wr b4s3 s0m3d4y Bl0ng t0 j00! M4y j00 0wn 34rth juss |1|3 j00 0wn h34\/3n. G1v3 us th1s d4y 0wr w4r3z, mp3z, 'n pr0n thr0ugh a ph4t |. 4nd cut us s0m3 sl4ck wh3n w3 4ct lik3 n00b l4m3rz, juss 4s w3 g1v3 n00bz 4 l34rn1n wh3n th3y l4m3 2 us. Pl34s3 d0n't l3t us 0wn s0m3 p00r d00d'z b0x3n wh3n w3'r3 t00 p1ss3d t0 th1nk 4b0ut wh4t's r1ght 4nd wr0ng, 4nd 1f j00 c0uld k33p th3 f3i 0ff 0wr b4ckz, w3'd 'pr3c14t3 1t. F0r j00 0wn 4ll 0wr b0x3n 43v3r 4nd 3v3r, 4m3n!

Which was in reply to an earlier message by Tackhead, who wrote:

0ur F47h3r, wH0 4r7 n h34V3n, h4110w3d b3 7HY n4m3, 7hy k1ngd0m c0m3, 7hy wI11 b d0n3, 0N 34r7h 4s i7 iS iN h34v3n. G1v3 u5 th15 d4y 0ur d4i1y br34d, & f0rg1v3 u5 0ur tr35p45535, 4s w3 f0rg1v3 7h05e wh0 tr35p455 4g41n5t u5.

Well, that's just a character-substitution. To really translate the language, you'd need to update the older idioms.

(For instance, see how 1384's language "And foryeue to us oure dettis þat is oure synnys as we foryeuen to oure dettouris þat is to men þat han synned in us" - which my layman's re-reading works like this: "And forgive (to) us our debt that is our sins, as we forgive (to) our debtors that is to men that have sinned in (against) us" - states explicitly the theological notion that sin is debt, whereas this notion had become implicit by 1611's wording.)

So - The Lord's Prayer, theology mostly intact, but rendered in 2002 'leetspeak:

Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck! May all 0ur base someday be belong to you! May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven. Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe. And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us. Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the f3i off our backs, we'd appreciate it. For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3n 4ever and ever, 4m3n.
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3 Responses:

  1. cuillere says:


  2. Just one translation note - "t00 p1ss3d" could refer either to angriness (e.g. "highly pissed off") or drunkenness (e.g. "as pissed as a newt"), depending on dialect. I'm sure this will cause many an argument for 23rd-Century scholars trying to interpret the text - although it's possible that they may just agree to think each other |4m3 n00bz and leave it at that. At least until they have the l33t sK1||z to rise up and p\\`n the h3R3t|x in the n1