Birds of Paaaain

I think the best thing I can say about Birds of Prey is, "it's not quite as awful as Dark Angel was." It mostly hovered in the "not very good" range, with occasional white-hot bursts of "pure pain".

Let's catalog the sins:

  • Intolerable perkiness on the part of the sidekick.
  • I knew we were in trouble when the opening scene was Gotham during the day.
  • The costumes suck ass. Big stinky ass.
  • Harley Quinn without a Jersey accent? I'm sorry, I just can't see Sloane Petersen saying "sowwy mistah j."
  • Everybody, including Batgirl, knew about Harley's extracurricular activities; now she's not only bat-spawn's court-appointed shrink, she's running Arkham? And nobody thinks this is a bad idea?
  • They seem to be pretending that the cops don't know about the superheroes, yet bat-spawn doesn't wear a mask?
  • The daughter of Batman and Catwoman just happens to be a super-powered mutant? Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! OH that makes me mad! I actually screamed at the TV.
  • Every time they made that "cheetah" sound effect noise when she jumped, I cringed with embarassment for everyone involved.
  • Dramatically insufficient hottie factor.

<kirk> The paaaaain! </kirk>

Why couldn't they have gotten the Batman Animated or Batman Beyond writers? Why why why?

This show makes me miss Cleopatra 2525: if you're gonna make a low budget cheeseball superhero show, at least make it be funny. (And hey, Cleo had an evil clown too.)

Tags: , , ,

3 Responses:

  1. kyronfive says:

    i watched it for about 5 minutes and then i had to leave the room. it as just intolerable. julio was hooting and hollering at the TV screen but i think that was because he got to see Dina Meyer in the shower.

  2. ideaspace says:

    " The paaaaain! "

    This is my new favorite thing ever. Ever.

  3. atakra says:

    I miss Cleopatra 2525.