Canada Makes Formal UN Apology for Lexx

Canada Makes Formal UN Apology for Lexx

In an emotional address to the entire country, Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien formally took responsibility for the terrible SF television coming from his country. "We're sorry for War of the Worlds. We're sorry for Friday the 13th. We're sorry for Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda. We're even sorry for The Starlost, even though it would have been great if the production crew had left Harlan Ellison alone. But most of all, we are very, very, VERY sorry for Lexx, and we are taking steps to make sure that geek porn like this never happens again."

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Birds of Paaaain

I think the best thing I can say about Birds of Prey is, "it's not quite as awful as Dark Angel was." It mostly hovered in the "not very good" range, with occasional white-hot bursts of "pure pain".

Let's catalog the sins:

  • Intolerable perkiness on the part of the sidekick.
  • I knew we were in trouble when the opening scene was Gotham during the day.
  • The costumes suck ass. Big stinky ass.
  • Harley Quinn without a Jersey accent? I'm sorry, I just can't see Sloane Petersen saying "sowwy mistah j."
  • Everybody, including Batgirl, knew about Harley's extracurricular activities; now she's not only bat-spawn's court-appointed shrink, she's running Arkham? And nobody thinks this is a bad idea?
  • They seem to be pretending that the cops don't know about the superheroes, yet bat-spawn doesn't wear a mask?
  • The daughter of Batman and Catwoman just happens to be a super-powered mutant? Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! OH that makes me mad! I actually screamed at the TV.
  • Every time they made that "cheetah" sound effect noise when she jumped, I cringed with embarassment for everyone involved.
  • Dramatically insufficient hottie factor.

<kirk> The paaaaain! </kirk>

Why couldn't they have gotten the Batman Animated or Batman Beyond writers? Why why why?

This show makes me miss Cleopatra 2525: if you're gonna make a low budget cheeseball superhero show, at least make it be funny. (And hey, Cleo had an evil clown too.)

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