g0d'z l33t

These are out of order, but it's funnier if you read the punchline before the explanation:

edunbar93 wrote:

Plus character substitution:

0wr F4th3R, wh0 0wnz h34\/3n, j00 r0x0rs! M4y 4|| 0wr b4s3 s0m3d4y Bl0ng t0 j00! M4y j00 0wn 34rth juss |1|3 j00 0wn h34\/3n. G1v3 us th1s d4y 0wr w4r3z, mp3z, 'n pr0n thr0ugh a ph4t |. 4nd cut us s0m3 sl4ck wh3n w3 4ct lik3 n00b l4m3rz, juss 4s w3 g1v3 n00bz 4 l34rn1n wh3n th3y l4m3 2 us. Pl34s3 d0n't l3t us 0wn s0m3 p00r d00d'z b0x3n wh3n w3'r3 t00 p1ss3d t0 th1nk 4b0ut wh4t's r1ght 4nd wr0ng, 4nd 1f j00 c0uld k33p th3 f3i 0ff 0wr b4ckz, w3'd 'pr3c14t3 1t. F0r j00 0wn 4ll 0wr b0x3n 43v3r 4nd 3v3r, 4m3n!

Which was in reply to an earlier message by Tackhead, who wrote:

0ur F47h3r, wH0 4r7 n h34V3n, h4110w3d b3 7HY n4m3, 7hy k1ngd0m c0m3, 7hy wI11 b d0n3, 0N 34r7h 4s i7 iS iN h34v3n. G1v3 u5 th15 d4y 0ur d4i1y br34d, & f0rg1v3 u5 0ur tr35p45535, 4s w3 f0rg1v3 7h05e wh0 tr35p455 4g41n5t u5.

Well, that's just a character-substitution. To really translate the language, you'd need to update the older idioms.

(For instance, see how 1384's language "And foryeue to us oure dettis þat is oure synnys as we foryeuen to oure dettouris þat is to men þat han synned in us" - which my layman's re-reading works like this: "And forgive (to) us our debt that is our sins, as we forgive (to) our debtors that is to men that have sinned in (against) us" - states explicitly the theological notion that sin is debt, whereas this notion had become implicit by 1611's wording.)

So - The Lord's Prayer, theology mostly intact, but rendered in 2002 'leetspeak:

Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck! May all 0ur base someday be belong to you! May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven. Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe. And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us. Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the f3i off our backs, we'd appreciate it. For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3n 4ever and ever, 4m3n.
Tags: ,

oh, the possibilities

So Danfuzz was showing off his new Danger Hiptop the other day, and from the little I played with it, it's pretty sweet: the form factor is good, the keyboard is easy to use, etc. I think it's a little too big, but I expect they'll fix that eventually.

But, unlike all those PalmOS telephones that are available, this thing is basically a cache for the upstream server: everything you save on the phone (address book, notes, any email you forward to the phone's mail reader, etc.) goes upstream to the mothership (and presumably you can sync with your computer via the company's web page or something.) In other words, it's pretty much a terminal, with the central-point-of-failure security concerns that come along with that model. Plus, you can't load your own software onto it: you get what the manufacturer sold you, and that's it.

Anyway, one of my first reactions was how cool this will be once someone hacks the server! Assuming these devices get popular, imagine being able to click on a map, zoom down to street level, see dots marking where people with Hiptops are (since, being cell phones, they're all lojacked) and then click on one of those dots to look through the phone's camera in realtime! Ok, mostly you'd be seeing the inside of someone's pocket, but still. I'll bet you'd at least be able to turn on the microphone and speaker remotely.

"Imagine the distributed denial-of-service attack you could build with a cluster of these..."

I want a device in the same physical case (because the ergonomics of it is really excellent), but that runs an open platform like PalmOS, so that I'm not beholden to The Phone Company's political and serve-the-least-common-denominator motivations over what software they should allow people to run.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Bush Down wit OPP

Yahoo! News - Top Stories

President George W. Bush ax leaders of local gangs to "step tha fuck off" during a player's ball at the White House October 3, 2002. Bush sought to ice hatas tryin' ta fade him in the 'hood and said once again that he would throw down with any trippin' bitches if dey step up wit dey punk-asses and di'nt WrReKoNiZe. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

Tags:

history of the tilde

history of the tilde
Tags: ,

hackers' guide to the legal system

Law School in a Nutshell, Part 1
Law School in a Nutshell, Part 2

This is pretty neat:

To understand why legalese is so incomprehensible, think about it as the programming language Legal. It may have been clean and simple once, but that was before it suffered from a thousand years of feature creep and cut-and-paste coding. Sure, Legal is filled with bizzare keywords, strange syntax, and hideous redundancy, but what large piece of software isn't? Underneath the layers of cruft, serious work is taking place.

As always, one of the secrets of being a good coder is to be able to read someone else's code and recognize which parts were copied out of the Camel Book and which parts have been carefully tweaked for this particular project. It's okay to skim legal documents the same way you'd skim a long source file; you just have to know when to switch over to careful reading. One of the major goals of this walkthrough is to give you a better sense of when to skim and when to focus.

Tags:

oh bitty box, how you're grown

So rzr_grl had a zillion zillion files she wanted to download from a web site, using her OSX Mac. First she tries to use this program called Fetch, which is expirey nagware. (And it's just baffling to me that anyone would actually pay for software that does something as basic as "downloading files", but that's beside the point.) So she tries to run it, and it's expired. So she deletes it and installs it again. That didn't work. So she searches for all files with Fetch in their names, deletes those, and installs it again. That works. Wow, awesome security there, dude: I'm pretty sure even my 'leet hax0r mom would have figured out that one.

So then it turns out that Fetch only does ftp, not http. You've got to be kidding me!

So I say, fuck this, I've heard rumors that these are real computers now, just use wget. So I download it, configure... oops, no C compiler. Presumably it was on some CD that she doesn't have here. So we go looking for an OSX binary of gcc. (Brief conversation on how it's possible for compilers to need compilers occurs.) Apparenty the only binaries are on Apple's site, and it takes forever to find it, because their site sucks. Also they make you register in order to download gcc. It's gcc! WTF! So we get that installed, wget builds straightaway, and all is sweetness and light.

But here's the thing that really struck me about this: command lines, as a user interface, really suck ass. Even if you use them, you know that's true. Somewhere, deep in your heart, you know what you're doing is ridiculous, and there's got to be a better way. And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in.

It seems to say, "sorry guys, we were wrong: it turns out that we actually had this figured out in the late 70s; that whole GUI thing, we've been barking up the wrong tree for a while."

Oh, and ^C doesn't work right in the shell half the time, even though stty says it's the intr character. It really is like I've gone back in time, I haven't had to fuck around with stty settings in like ten years. (I can only assume that if I ever see Emacs running on this box, Delete is going to bring up Help. Hey, maybe they could figure out a way to make me care about how many stop bits I'm using, that'd be so retro!)

Tags: , ,

dnalounge update

DNA Update: It's been a month, since I suck, so it's a long one. I took some pictures of the Capacitor show, too.
Tags: