the horror of breeding

The Story About the Baby

I am cursed with the ability to find just about everything to be very interesting. Plus, I'm a jerk. This is a bad combination, as any of my friends who have had the concept of meconium explained to them by me can testify.

(meconium, n. the first fecal excretion of a newborn child, composed chiefly of bile, mucus, and epithelial cells. - Random House Webster's College Dictionary)

[...] We plan to have a lovely baby album, suitable for presentation to relatives, friends, and whatnot. I also plan to have a second baby album, a secret, special baby album, henceforth known as Baby Album B. This will be a horror show, kept for my own private amusement, and only revealed as a surprise on a later date if Cordelia ever brings home a boyfriend I REALLY hate.

Tags: , ,

via disordered

Tags: ,
Current Music: Salt -- Hycrome ♬

the captain has turned off the "no hittin' it" sign

'Mile High Club' Forces Airplane Refit

LONDON (Reuters) - Virgin Atlantic Airways is to replace tables in its newest planes because passengers have broken them during illicit trysts, the Sun newspaper said on Monday.

The $200 million Airbus A340-600, which was introduced several weeks ago, has a "mother and baby room" with a plastic table meant for changing diapers. But passengers have destroyed them by using them for love making.

"Those determined to join the Mile High Club will do so despite the lack of comforts," a Virgin spokeswoman was quoted as saying.

"We don't mind couples having a good time, but this is not something that we would encourage because of air regulations."

Tags:

dot com card game

Burn Rate
(www.thinkgeek.com)

"With a simple, fun, and uncannily realistic game system, you and your friends will struggle to keep a dot-com startup afloat as the bad business pours in and the money runs out. Be the last one in business, and you'll win the dubious honor of `Best CEO'."

[...] "You won't be getting any revenue. As a dot-com, the only way to get more money is to use your Finance Cards to raise Funding when your cash runs short."

Tags:
Current Music: Lamb -- Just Is ♬

A New Life, Soaked in Flammable Liquid

A New Life, Soaked in Flammable Liquid

She giggled as the pump turned on. Next thing I knew, gas was dumping all over the ground, and she was crying, with this weird wimper: "Uunngggh, uuunngghh, uunggghhh." I stuck my head around the island and saw that she had her hand on the handle and 92 octane was spewing out full blast. Apparently, after the gas turned on she just grabbed the handle and squoze, shooting gas straight up in the air, because she was also covered in gas from her hair to her tank top and down to her Brit Spears lowriders.

<lj-cut text="--More--(10%)">

From: "Jon Hall" <jonhall@worldnet.att.net>
Date: Fri, 30 Aug 2002 02:19:16 GMT

Hiya, Folks.

The brother of one of my wife's friends works for the University of Texas. He was kind enough to share this tale of Freshmania, and I was so impressed by it that I thought I'd pass it along to you. Enjoy.


Don's 1st Experience with UT Class of 2006

It's always nice on campus with the incoming Freshmen in bloom. I will usually point out a building or two. Sometimes as staff, we volunteer to help them move into their dorms, etc. But sometimes they show up rather ill-equipped for life on their own.

Today, 8/21, I was filling up my truck when a young lady pulled up to the tank on the other side of my island. She fumbled with the credit- card slot, and then asked, "How does this work?" She had her HS tassels hanging from her rearview and a car full of clothes and furniture.

I recommended she try inserting the card. "I did that," she retorted. I said, "The way the black stripe goes matters." She giggled as the pump turned on.

Next thing I knew, gas was dumping all over the ground, and she was crying, with this weird wimper: "Uunngggh, uuunngghh, uunggghhh." I stuck my head around the island and saw that she had her hand on the handle and 92 octane was spewing out full blast. Apparently, after the gas turned on she just grabbed the handle and squoze, shooting gas straight up in the air, because she was also covered in gas from her hair to her tank top and down to her Brit Spears lowriders. I yelled at her, "Let go of the handle, honey."

Luckily, I had the island as protection, because as soon as she heard my voice she turned, spraying gas right at me, but splashing it most of it on the bank of gas pumps and only splattering it on my face.

She was bawling now and hopping slightly, all the while saying, "Uuunggghh, uuuunngghh, uuunnggh."

But she had a firm grip on the handle: By now the pump read $3.40 and counting.

I screamed at an attendant to shut off the pump and calmly turned to her. "Sweetie, that lever you are squeezing in your hand is causing gas to come out of the nozzle. Take your hand off the handle!"

She slowly grasped my remarks by lifting her nozzle hand up and looking at it closely, thereby turning the nozzle and causing gas to spray directly into her front seat. Finally, she dropped the nozzle at the same time the pumps shut off. She was totally bawling now, screaming, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," and kind of running in place.

The attendants were spraying the area with foam, and I could hear the fire truck on its way. I had to push my truck out of the way so that I didn't start it on the gas. As I left she was yelling she wanted to go home, and the attendants were physically preventing her from getting in her car and starting it in a puddle of gasoline. The pump read $4.93.

-Don

Tags: ,
Current Music: Lard -- Mangoat ♬

search engine of the elder gods

Tags: , ,
Current Music: Sharkbait -- Metal ♬

disk usage visualization

SequoiaView

This is for Windows, but despite that shortcoming, it's pretty neat! It would be cool if someone integrated this into xdiskusage...

Tags:

Who said it? Ashcroft or McCarthy?

http://web.morons.org/feature/whosaidit.jsp

"Test your knowledge of history and the present. See if you can tell Ashcroft from McCarthy in our "who said it" test. To make it more difficult we've replaced words like "communist" and "terrorist" with "___". "

[ I got 92%, but I think that's just because McCarthy had better writers than Ashcroft does. ]

Tags:

writing programs for hardware you don't own

Do any of you hack PalmOS? I need some advice...

<lj-cut text="hack hack">A few years ago, I ported my XDaliClock program to PalmOS. This amused me, in that the original Palm Pilots were only-slightly beefier machines than the original Macintosh was, which was the primordial soup that Dali Clock crawled out of. Of course, I don't actually have a Pilot, so I debugged it in emulators, then mailed it to people saying, "hey, does this work?"

So, three years and many OS upgrades later, my PalmOS development environment atrophied, and I wasn't able to actually compile the thing any more. Well, tonight I got the development environment working again, and found that the code needed a lot of changes to compile: various function names and types changed; nothing that drastic...

Except... one of the tricks I did in the old version was to draw to the frame buffer directly, in cases where that was possible. I was careful to only do this on systems that were running in 1-bit mode; on grayscale or color systems, it would draw it the slower, safer way (which was fine, because those systems are faster anyway.) But drawing to the frame buffer directly sped things up a lot on the older hardware, so it was worthwhile.

I was getting the pointer to the frame buffer like so:

     frame_buffer = (unsigned char *) WinGetDisplayWindow()->displayAddr; 

That doesn't work any more. I gave this a try, based on my reading of Window.h and Bitmap.h, but it doesn't work:

    BitmapPtr b = WinGetDisplayWindow()->bitmapP;
     /* unsigned char *end = (((unsigned char *) b) + sizeof(*b)); */
     unsigned char *end = (((unsigned char *) &b->reserved)
                           + sizeof (b->reserved));
     
     if (b->flags.hasColorTable) end += sizeof(ColorTableType);
     if (b->flags.directColor)   end += sizeof(BitmapDirectInfoType);
     
     if (b->flags.indirect)   /* ptr to bits is after 'b' */
       frame_buffer = * (unsigned char **) end;
     else                     /* bits begin right after `b' */
       frame_buffer = end;

Is it possible to access the frame buffer as memory at all any more? Surely there must be some way; the old PRC file I generated years ago still works, accessing the frame buffer as bits; I just can't figure out how to generate a new PRC file that does the same thing, using the more recent SDK!

Update: I figured it out. The trick is:

    WinHandle w = WinGetDisplayWindow();
    if (!w)
      ;
    else if (rom_version < ROM_35)
      frame_buffer = (unsigned char *) w->displayAddrV20;
    else
      { /* functions from "3.5 New Feature Set" */
        BitmapPtr b = WinGetBitmap (w);
        frame_buffer = (unsigned char *) (b ? BmpGetBits (b) : 0);
      }
Tags: , , , , , , ,

concensus via post-production

http://www.mediaresearch.org/cyberalerts/2002/cyb20020830.asp#3

Senator Clinton was booed when she walked on stage last October at a rock concert in Madison Square Garden to benefit 9/11 victims. It was shown live by VH1 but, as ABC's John Stossel illustrated in a July 20/20 special on media distortions, when the Viacom-owned cable channel replayed it sound technicians replaced the booing with cheering and applause. And that version is the permanent record VH1 put onto its DVD of the event.

RealVideo of both versions: www.mediaresearch.org

Tags: , , ,