Joker's nipples

Warren Ellis says:

It occurs to me that an awful lot of trouble in Gotham City could have been averted a long time ago if Batman had just ripped the Joker's nipples off.

I mean, treatment doesn't work, does it? They stick the Joker in the nuthatch, he comes out again and does the same things.

A man with the nipples ripped off him does not make the same mistakes twice.

Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, and need the nipples ripped off them.

I mean, who's going to argue?

"Batman, I've heard disturbing reports that you ripped the Joker's nipples off."

"Choke on my fuck, Commissioner Gordon."


I mean, crime in Gotham City doesn't exactly seem to be affected by a man dressed as a bat flapping around the place. But no-one disobeys a man wearing a necklace of human nipples.

"I'm Batman" isn't cutting it in the striking-fear-into-their-hearts stakes. But "I'm Batman -- and I'm here for your nipples" is an entirely different proposition.

Criminals would see the error of their ways after a man in a black leather pervert suit had their nipples off with the edge of a Batarang, you mark my words. Or a Bat-Denipplizer.

I'm off to ring Bob Schreck at DC Comics.

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4 Responses:

  1. blackthorne6 says:

    I just can't argue with the above sentiment..perhaps a new crime fighter would emerge from the crowd..

  2. caladri says:

    You just made my list of heroes.

  3. confuseme says:

    I believe I would pay about $35 to see Batman say "Choke on my fuck, Commissioner Gordon" in an actual comic book. I could possibly be talked out of up to $100 for the chance to see the whole exchange in an episode of Batman Beyond.

  4. mrmustard says:

    I will pay $30 dollars for any decently drawn zine that has Batman saying "choke on my fuck" and wearing a nipple necklace.