what is the sound of one knee jerking?

This is hi-larious:

If amerikkkans want to fully protest this coming war and do it so someone listens...

I'm missing the point of the spelling "amerikkkans". Are you saying only white supremacists should follow your directions?

Go twid!


da bomb

Demonstrators imitating suicide bombers hold up a banner which reads 'NO WAR' as thousands of demonstrators protest in Madrid on Sept. 29, 2002 against a possible U.S.-led military strike on Iraq. Photo by Andrea Comas/Reuters

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friends don't let friends post raw irc logs

<jwz> you know, I really wish those of you who insist on pasting IRC logs to your LJ would at least take the time to make them not be completely unreadable

for example, by running them through https://www.jwz.org/hacks/irc2html.pl first
<rjn> ooh..
<jwz> someone share with us some typically spectacular irc wit so that I have an example to post, please
<uhtu>   STFU L4M3R HAHAH j000 sux0r!
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the unplumbable depths of dipshittery

So some moron sends spam to my mailing list about, I don't know, his band touring the Boston suburbs or something. And since it's a moderated list, it bounces back to him with "not on the accept list." (And need I even mention that his message was of course both unsolicited and totally off topic for the list.)

Then I get a message back from him:

Hello, you've reached Joe's automated junk-mail filter! Please read this message carefully, it is NOT AN ERROR or a BOUNCE!

The email you sent is being withheld from Joe until you confirm that you're a real person and not an email spammer. All you have to do is send an empty message to the following address (you can probably use your mailer's "Reply" feature):

    [blah blah blah]

This one-time confirmation will verify that you are real, and that your messages are legitimate and not junk-mail. Thanks for bearing with this ungainly process ... but let's face it, spam stinks!

I would like you all to do me a favor. Please take a moment to send a message to cutter@fnoof.ne.client2.attbi.com and tell him to choke on a bucket of dicks.

And make sure you confirm the message so that he's sure to see it!


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Current Music: Fluke -- Absurd ♬

the word I hate today is...


How did this asinine obfuscated word get into the vernacular? What was wrong with "X by Y"? I'm sorry, I'm one of those poor, pathetic people who is not good at doing fucking square roots in his head.

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get one for daddy

Bush calls Saddam 'the guy who tried to kill my dad'

[...] Houston is the adopted hometown of the president's father, former President Bush, and in discussing the threat posed by Saddam, the current president offered his staple list of complaints about Iraq's defiance of the United Nations and his contention that Iraq is working aggressively on chemical, biological and nuclear weapons programs. "This is a man who continually lies," Bush said.

He said the Iraqi leader's "hatred" was largely directed at the United States and added: "After all, this is the guy who tried to kill my dad."

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World Gravity Model

World Gravity Model

Due to an uneven distribution of mass inside the Earth, the Earth's gravity field is not uniform - that is, it has "lumps". By far the largest is a flattening at the poles, called the Earth's oblateness, but in this model we've greatly exaggerated the scale so that many smaller features can be seen. The GRACE Mission will map out the precise location and size of these lumps, enabling greater understanding of the structure of the Earth. Additionally, GRACE will monitor the mass and location of water as it moves around on the surface of the Earth, cycling between the land, oceans, and polar ice caps.

RealVideo: www.csr.utexas.edu

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sir, put down the little person and step away

U.N. backs 'dwarf-tossing' ban

GENEVA, Switzerland -- A French ban on the controversial practice of "dwarf-tossing" has been upheld by the U.N. Human Rights Committee.

Manuel Wackenheim began his fight in 1995 after the French ban meant he could no longer earn a living being thrown around discotheques and nightclubs by burly men.

But on Friday, Wackenheim -- who measures 1.14 metres (3 feet 10 inches) -- lost his case when the U.N. human rights body ruled the need to protect human dignity was paramount.

In a statement, the U.N. Human Rights Committee said it was satisfied "the ban on dwarf-tossing was not abusive but necessary in order to protect public order, including considerations of human dignity."

The committee also said the ban "did not amount to prohibited discrimination."

The pastime, imported from the United States and Australia in the 1980s, consists of people throwing tiny stuntmen as far as possible, usually in a bar or discotheque.


Texas Blues Brothers Sue DC Comics for Worm-like Portrayal

By Stephanie Francis Cahill

Johnny and Edgar Winter, the guitar-playing brothers known for their Texas blues music, aren't laughing at their portrayal as cannibalistic, half-worm characters that live underground.

The siblings allege that the "Autumn Brothers," villains depicted in DC Comics' "Jonah Hex" series, are based on their image, and they filed defamation and misappropriation of likeness claims against the company. The Autumn Brothers are named Johnny and Edgar and, like the Winters, they have albinism (a lack of pigment that has left them pale and white-haired). The characters, featured in a series that parodies Wild West story lines, wear clothing associated with the Winters, such as stovepipe hats decorated with feathers.

The Autumn Brothers have some unique traits, though. They are the spawn of a human and a worm. They rule the earth after dark and have sexual intercourse with dead animals.

[...] "Clearly, they are being transformed into worms. The real question is, is that transformative use in a legal sense, such that the First Amendment requires that we let this happen?"

More at the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund site: www.cbldf.org

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nurse! pull my finger!

Patient having op on backside breaks wind, causing fire

A Danish man having surgery on his backside broke wind and set his genitals alight.

A surgeon was removing a mole on his backside with an electric knife when the man broke wind, lighting a spark.

His genitals had been washed with surgical spirits and caught fire.

He's suing the hospital for pain and suffering and loss of income.

He says he had to take extra time off work and can't have sex with his wife. The hospital says it was an unfortunate accident.

"When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell," the man told Danish Newspaper BT.

Surgeon Dr Jorn Kristensen said: "No-one considered the possibility the man would break wind during the operation, let alone that it would catch fire. It was an unfortunate accident."

The 30-year-old patient said: "I've had to be booked off work for longer than expected and, besides the pain, I can't have sex with my wife."

The operation which was being carried out at the Kjellerups hospital, was aborted immediately after the accident.

Reports say it's unlikely the doctor will face disciplinary action.