What Happens When You Drink an Entire Bottle of Weed Lube

"I woke up with potato chips all over my body."

I woke up the next morning and cried at my boyfriend about how badly I didn't want to go to Disneyland, despite the fact that we had no plans to go to Disneyland that day or ever. After calming me down, he tucked me back into bed with a big bag of salt and vinegar potato chips and turned on Gilmore Girls. After hallucinating that Lauren Graham's face was morphing into Ryan Gosling's face for just a few seconds at a time, such that nobody besides me had ever noticed, I proceeded to nap for four hours. I woke up with potato chips all over my body, then asked my boyfriend to help wash me off in the shower because I didn't feel capable of doing that on my own. I also vaguely remember having a mild panic attack about the fact that I didn't know where our cat was. We don't have a cat.

The next few days are a blur of snacking and crying. There are 10 text threads on my phone that I don't remember typing and mysterious empty bags of Cheetos strewn about my apartment.

The Peril of Working with Psychoactive Drugs Is Accidentally Tripping

With the former, I began to notice something wasn't right on my walk home from the lab for a dinner break. The people across the street took on the appearance of a Mexican day of the dead festival. While Dock Ellis may be able to pitch a no hitter while under the influence of LSD, I was not as confident in my abilities to work on LSM-775 and rather than returning to the lab I decided to take the evening off."

"The evening was spent staring at a wall while periodically monitoring my vitals.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , ,

'We Sell a Lot of Dicks': Inside a Factory Making Male Sex Dolls

The creators of the Vajankle are now making nearly life sized, meticulously crafted sex dolls for women.


Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , ,

Circus of Death

Why has nobody made a movie based on The Human League's Circus of Death? Please get on that. (The first time I heard that song, I immediately decided it was actually about Nyarlathotep.)

"The last verse is a shortwave radio message from the last man on Earth."

Judges would also accept The Black Hit of Space.

Previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , , ,

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Superfriends

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , ,

Crushed between two portals experiment

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , ,

SOMA Gentrification, 1984 Edition

The Center Of Strange In San Francisco

In City Hall, South-of-Market is spoken of in optimistic tones, as "improving." That means that alleys formerly fit only for truck deliveries and sleeping men are now inexplicably filled with people waiting in line. Rents are going up. Sculptor Aris Demetrios, who has kept a studio South-of-Market for 20 years, is watching the warehouse space in nearby buildings go for $1.50 a square foot--a jump straight up from 25 cents. [...]

The Ramrod is a headquarters for this riding-crop set. At Eighth and Folsom, it was formerly nestled comfortably between wholesale foam outlets and welding companies. Now that the neighborhood's gone Yuppie, the Ramrod shares the block with four new restaurants and a conceptual art gallery. [...] Inside it's homier than one might imagine, with a piano bar and a mural that looks like the weight room at the YMCA. The black-leather cowboys, still here though their numbers are diminishing, bar-hop on Folsom, looking fearsome and jingling their chains and spurs.

Tags:

DNA Lounge update

DNA Lounge update, wherein you should come see Star Girls because the Facebook Morality Police would prefer that you not.
Tags:

The Bay Bridge bike path designs are completely insane.

To call me an advocate for bicycling infrastructure would be putting it mildly... but the money it would require to put a bike lane on the Bay Bridge is an idiotic use of public funds that completely dwarfs the Super Bowl and the America's Cup combined by several orders of magnitude. I can't believe they're still spending money -- and so much money -- still even thinking about this.

They've already set fire to ten million dollars just on this study! That's more than half of SFMTA's 2015 budget for bike infrastructure ($17.8M) for this powerpoint of science fiction nonsense. That's real bike lanes you are not riding on right now.

How about something more practical, like a six mile bicycle zip-line, or the Alameda-Weehawken burrito tunnel.

I mean come on:

Another big question is how to get the path across Yerba Buena Island. The options include a bike and walking path that would be suspended from the ceiling of the Yerba Buena Tunnel, providing a direct connection to the west span. Less costly options include building paths above or below Hillcrest Road, which winds around steep terrain on the south side of the island.

In San Francisco, the project would also feature "dual high-capacity and high-speed elevators" on the Embarcadero to quickly move people on and off the path. One option being considered would be to have the elevators open first, in lieu of a ramp touchdown, which could be built later. [...]

Part of the current design effort is to find a design that can be built for under $300 million -- far less than early estimates for the project. Bay Area Toll Authority officials said they are considering raising bridge tolls to cover the cost as part of a regional measure that would also fund a number of other transportation projects. [...]

"We hoped we would come to this day where the political will is lined up," said Rivera. "This project feels like it has so much momentum. It feels like there's no going back."


Previously, previously.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Anti Anti-Homeless Spikes

"Nothing says 'keep out' to a person more than rows of sharpened buttplugs laid out to stop people from enjoying or using public space."


Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Dinonapping

This is completely tragic.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Tags: