I hope you know
that this will go down
on your permanent record.


``I have yet to come across so much self-righteous bullshit as when I gaze upon the massive heap of crap that is the jwz web experience.''
-- an anonymous poster to slashdot.org


New material hasn't been showing up here quite as frequently as in the past, because most of my time, and thus most of my stories, have been related to the club. I've been writing all about it, though: you can read my approximately-weekly updates over there. I also have a blog where I post entertaining URLs that I run across.


music 2007 or, another list of that which failed to suck
movies 2007 or, some stuff I ate popcorn to
im or, a simple admonition
magic or, screen savers: the unacknowledged gateway drug
innuendo or, that's what she said
vacuum or, other junk that nature abhors
gideons or, give us each day our daily ping
mms or, what year is this?
brainslug or, outbreaks of the future
music 2006 or, another list of that which failed to suck
shows 2006 or, some bands I saw
books 2006 or, some stuff I read
movies 2006 or, some stuff I ate popcorn to
party or, sidewalk still life
ben or, with great power
copter or, a continuing series
cup or, more window hijinks
colbert butter or, truthiness!
fake or, "dear industrial music..."
wheel or, tis the season
music 2005 or, another list of that which failed to suck
shows 2005 or, some bands I saw
books 2005 or, some stuff I read
movies 2005 or, some stuff I ate popcorn to
baster or, a miracle of modern technology
cd&d or, high concept
powerline or, zap
erections or, shut up beavis
trucks or, mammon's delight
fortune or, even more loathing
mash or, how retro
zen or, not
transubstantiation or, I can't believe it's not jesus
cellidemic or, occam's razor
unintendedalism or, banned words
rated or, accidental wisdom
vats or, federation bugs
metal or, lock your doors
big heads or, it's coming right for us
music 2004 or, another list of that which failed to suck
shows 2004 or, some bands I saw
books 2004 or, some stuff I read
movies 2004 or, some stuff I ate popcorn to
window or, dark days indeed
bait or, aroo aroo aroo
anything or, you never know, man
games or, I want that hour back
floss or, in your face
nipples or, these are not the nipples you are looking for
sierpinski or, pharaoh will be pleased
^H^H^H or, the unfrozen caveman hacker show
books 2003 or, some stuff I read
music 2003 or, some more stuff that didn't suck
thai or, at home he's a tourist
rock or, perhaps, party
cheeta or, welcoming our new abstract ape masters
midgets or, yow! are we professional yet?
virus or, you must be this tall to touch the mailer
shred or, is that your friend in the woodchipper?
contingency or, open to interpretation
burning man or, disney in the desert
scooby or, chainsaws! like zoinks!
sysadmin or, where did it all go so terribly wrong
cement or, rockin' it offroad-style
astro or, the shoulder of orion
skillz or, m4d ph33r there0f
ghengi or, earn more sessions by sleeving
autocubism or, eliminating the artist from the creative process
soap or, bring some dirt to put it out!
music 2002 or, some stuff that didn't suck
more music or, some more stuff that didn't suck
hax0r or, is it the future yet?
noise or, modern living
whatrock or, truth through design mistakes
hiptop or, lojack yourself
drama or, why yes, I've got issues
psytrance or, when teletubbies explode
tattoo or, the gift that keeps on giving
comedy or, the hand of fate will not be thwarted
daliclock or, adventures in retrocomputing archaeology
amiga or, further adventures in retrocomputing archaeology
wake up or, further adventures in the parking lot
bittybox or, oh how you've grown
megapixels or, tastes like burning
long now or, links about exponents
organisms or, that's one thing I don't wanna catch
infographic or, just eff why eye
pisstest or, don't pee on drugs, kids
script or, further adventures in the service industry
parts or, on a wing and a turd
magnetic or, gobble sand worm nuts
sheep or, funny little world, isn't it
shaft or, words of advice for young script writers
vacuous or, glutinous with self-approbation
music 2001 or, I found this under a pile of... things
singleminded or, no name no slogan
turn or, creative visualization
semantics or, let's not get bogged down in the details
design or, judging a book by its markup
aol/tw or, not this crap again
lard or, the power thereof
unspeakable or, I could tell you, but then you'd have to kill me
door prize or, trade it for what's in the ashtray
spot or, if you could see what I've seen with your eyes
sink or, are all these your guitars?
don corleone or, eat the rich
greed or, fear and loathing on 101
lowbrow or, finding the important subtext
teletypes or, new ideas in retrocomputing
cell out or, adventures in the service industry
cd rack or, another plumbing construction project
wrists or, doctor doctor, it hurts when I go like this
universal appeal or, it will change your life
sparechange? or, a litany against panhandling
noseman or, smile!
girl scouts or, mommy, what's that?
more toxins or, 5 minutes to reach minimum safe distance
wisdom teeth or, that sucked and I'm never doing it again
webcollage or, exterminate all rational thought
nomo zilla or, resignation and postmortem
nscp/aol or, resignation, part two
monkey butter or, it kind of makes you think, doesn't it
toxic or, don't drink the water
identity or, I may be slow but I'm in front of you
the leaky guest or, it's not just outside
nomenclature or, truth in advertising
random guy or, ``we are Them''
really bad attitude or, the death of excellence
blow me or, what happened to about:jwz?
parking shot or, things take a turn for the serious
doggie day care or, these are the end times
lots of fire or, behold the yule tire
bookcase or, the industrial martha stewart
mozilla dot party or, dragged kicking and screaming towards fun
license or, the dilbert-isms just never stop
lots more parking or, the finest in urban drama
autobogotification or, we can flame it for you wholesale
butterfly wings or, upsetting the balance
unix personified or, ``run, coward, run!''
call before you dig or, let's not offend anyone
dadadodo or, exterminate all rational thought
sockets or, bone saws and dental tug-of-war
salvage or, the law of the briny deep
graveyard or, now I'm feeling zombiefied
electricity or, welcome to my death trap
woodland friends or, meet the rodents
happy family or, some people should not be allowed to breed
dentation or, dreams long in the tooth
camouflage or, my office is cooler than yours
my brain or, tell me about your childhood
pull the strings or, meet the moirae
mister rogers or, damaged for life
pheasantly numb or, your right to arm bears
product or, death sells
lots of parking or, why not right here, nobody can see
tonsorial issues or, you look ridiculous, you freakish punk
nitrous or, recreational dentistry
hot hot hot or, meet the fratboys
telephony or, complex nonsolutions to simple nonproblems
eye grow or, if you could see what I've seen
aaaanarchy or, do what thou wilt
nscp dorm or, a cautionary tale
go west or, welcome to the promised land
playing house or, what is this stuff
rush hour or, a symphony of unexplained delays
bug man or, dreaming of chitinous ornamentation
get over it or, little mister matchmaker
shop dream or, dreaming of knick knacks
graveyard 2 or, going bump in the night
toooonight or, things that don't go well with depeche mode
hammer falls or, the fratboys get a hobby
bug jar or, dreaming of roaches
impressions or, welcome to the snake pit
slurp or, how can you walk?
mannequins or, my apartment is cooler than yours
fish heads or, all of you can go to hell
toothbrush or, you want me to put it where?


© 1994-2004 Jamie Zawinski <jwz@jwz.org>