New-Age Bullshit Generator

We dream, we dream, we are reborn. We exist as sub-atomic particles. Nothing is impossible.

We must learn how to lead cosmic lives in the face of ego.

It can be difficult to know where to begin. The stratosphere is calling to you via four-dimensional superstructures. Can you hear it? Lifeform, look within and strengthen yourself.

Today, science tells us that the essence of nature is truth. By redefining, we self-actualize. You and I are entities of the world.

Beauty requires exploration. The infinite is buzzing with sub-atomic particles. Transformation is a constant.

Reality has always been aglow with storytellers whose lives are immersed in faith. Faith healing may be the solution to what's holding you back from an ecstatic ozmosis of truth. Through astral projection, our dreams are transformed into synchronicity. You will soon be aligned by a power deep within yourself -- a power that is interstellar, higher.

Eons from now, we entities will live like never before as we are guided by the quantum matrix. It is time to take wisdom to the next level. The quantum leap of inspiration is now happening worldwide.

(Exterminate all something something)

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6 Responses:

  1. Through our unique blend of benign pharmacology, sensory therapy, and energy sculpting, we can guide you gently along the path to a new, better, happier you, all in the comfortable surroundings of our state-of-the-art facility and our award-winning gardens.

  2. A new life awaits you in the off-world colonies.

  3. Cameo Wood says:

    The "reionize electrons" reload button is what takes it over the top for me.

  4. Well, they are spiritually quantum electrons, you understand.

  5. Jamie Delman says:

    The only difference between Chopra and a gypsy fortune teller is that he wears $2000 shades and has ditched the neon Reader/Advisor signage