To the person who shit in a sock at Kmart.. - w4w

To the person who shit in a sock at Kmart.. - w4w

About 2 years ago, I was a janitor at the Centre Kmart. I went about my janitor duties and swept out the bathroom- The womens' room I might add.. and my broom caught a hold of something heavy behind the toilet..

I swept it out and found out that it was a sock. With my gloved hand, I picked up the sock, curious as to why the sock was so heavy... I wish I never did do that.. for I looked inside and, sure enough!.. there was a turd in that sock.

I've got to know.. this has been bothering me for 2 years now. I still wonder why.. and how.. shit got in that sock.

Did you get into the bathroom stall and think to yourself.. "Do I really want to shit in this public toilet, or.. oh hey! I have this comfortable sock I could shit into instead!" -and just hold that sock up to your ass and go for it?

If this is so- and you were able to hold that up to your ass and successfully bag that shit- then I applaud you for executing such a task- and also for doing one of the most disgusting, confusing things I've ever seen in my young life...

What happened in that stall that possessed you to do such a vile, horrid thing? You've left me in sheer wonderment for quite some time and I just have to know now. It is time to fess up. Please help my mind be at peace.

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18 Responses:

  1. Sam Kington says:

    I can sort of see why this was categorised as "missed connections", but still, that's pretty wrong.

  2. Mike K says:

    This is from a place in NE Alabama. I'm about an hour away and shocked, shocked I say that someone from the butt scratch corner of Alabama shat in a sock.

  3. Different Jamie says:

    I feel like this is part of a folk saying in another dimension. "well, that's a sock full of shit", or "you really shat in your sock this time".

    • John Bloom says:

      Ahoy stranger,
      I have come to visit your interblag from another dimension in order to share our culture.

      • Eric Eisenhart says:

        Please return to your dimension and take all the shit-filled socks and culture with you.

  4. Brian B says:

    No no you're doing it wrong, it's "Put a sock in it," not the other way around.

  5. Jeff Bell says:

    Maybe they were training to be an the astronaut program (see Packing for Mars)

    How far was it from Redstone?

  6. Justin Buist says:

    When designing a our new store my brother sat down with the bathroom design folks and laid out two requirements: 1) The toilets must be able to flush a disposable diaper, and 2) The materials must be sturdy enough to withstand a power washer.

    They looked him like he was nuts. Nobody had ever asked for such things, they told him. He raised his hand and said, "Anybody else here been cleaning a public restroom for 15 years?"

  7. Hrm, I don't that sock shitter had their pocket poo guide handy.

    cfs

  8. As a former janitor, I'd be thankful they didn't try to flush it.

  9. gryazi says:

    What the fuckety fuck, this is a phrase/PRIOR ART:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/south-postpones-rising-again-for-yet-another-year,377/

    ("...just as soon as we get together and get all our shit back in one sock.")

  10. Cleaner says:

    Years before I began studying pushdown automata at my local public university, I was a cleaner. Not a janitor - janitor is a title in this world, kind of like a sergeant or lieutenant. I was a cleaner, more like a private.

    It was an office building with security at the front door. But we would find porno mags in the stalls - and the pages would stick together. I was wearing gloves, but still. We would clean when everyone went home, starting at 6 PM. Who the hell brings a porno mag into the stalls and starts wacking off in the middle of the day while they're working? Obviously this was a few years ago, I guess guys wack off to their iPhones nowadays.