80,000 lbs. of walnuts stolen by Mysterious Russian Giant

It's unclear what episode of Leverage this is.

Two companies who recently bought walnuts from Tehama County each reported around 40,000 pounds of the processed nuts stolen in the last two weeks, and deputies are searching for a suspicious delivery driver with a Russian accent who they say is behind it all.

Employees told sheriff's deputies that the driver of a white semi with a Russian accent picked up the load on Oct. 19. The walnuts were purchased by F.C. Bloxom and Co., a Seattle-based company, and to be delivered to Miami.

While investigating the strange report, deputies found out a man who matched the description of that delivery driver had picked up an order of 40,000 walnuts from Los Molinos on Oct. 23 that were supposed to be taken to Texas, deputies said.

In both cases, the driver is described as about 6 feet, 2 inches, and weighing 198 pounds, and he's said to speak with a "very distinctive Russian accent," deputies said. The man somehow got the correct purchase numbers to show the companies in order to pull off the theft, they said.

Altogether, the stolen walnuts are said to be worth just under $300,000, deputies said.

There's only one possible explanation.

Incidentally, there does not appear to be a Global Strategic Walnut Reserve.

Previously.

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9 Responses:

  1. pavel_lishin says:

    > Incidentally, there does not appear to be a Global Strategic Walnut Reserve.

    Not yet. Where do you think all those nuts are going?

  2. Ben says:

    > Not yet. Where do you think all those nuts are going?

    Is Glenn Beck having another rally?

  3. bunny42 says:

    A white van with a Russian accent. Perhaps it was a ZiL.

  4. Thomas Themel says:

    So, do they routinely weigh incoming truck drivers? How else does he weigh "198 pounds"? Also, the second incident is reported as "40000 walnuts", which should come to "only" about 1700 pounds. And the maple syrup is back, so your theory is unlikely.

  5. joseph blowseph says:

    ok six two is sortof tallish but even with all three significant digits, 198 is a tad skinny at that height. where is this "giant" part coming from?

    • ardgedee says:

      Due to generations of inbreeding between the walnut farm families, the average walnut farmer is 5'3". So the eyewitness reports are skewed.

    • Ben says:

      198 at 6'2" is marginally overweight. It's a BMI of 25.4, inaccurately-named-in-the-US "normal" is 18.5 to 24.9.

  6. Jeremy Leader says:

    I guess a Masters in Chemical Engineering could come in handy for processing such large quantities of walnuts and maple syrup. But Dolph's no 198lb weakling.