DNA Lounge update

DNA Lounge update, wherein there are some photos with frickin' laser beams in them.
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recent movies

Some micro-reviews of stuff I've seen recently:

Black Mirror: A British 3-part near-future-scifi thing. The first episode, with the Prime Minister and the pig, is fantastic. The second, about game shows, is kind of ham-handed, and the third is basically a rehash of the theme of Strange Days (but that's one of my favorite movies, so I'll allow it). The pig one is really great, though.

Sherlock: The new BBC Holmes adaptation is fantastic in every particular. It alternates between being incredibly faithful to the books and going off the rails in entertaining new directions. My only complaint is that I thought the Moriarty character was cartoony and kind of sucked. Everything else about it, especially Irene Adler, was great. I also enjoyed the first Robert Downey Jr. movie (haven't seen the second), but this series is way, way better.

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, etc.: I finally watched all three of the Swedish versions (I haven't seen the Hollywood version because every time I see a remake, it's a mistake) and the first one was pretty good, but the sequels were completely stupid and borderline nonsensical. Also I understand that the original title was "Men who Hate Women" but shouldn't it have been called "Writers who Want To Rescue Tiny, Angry Girls"? (How many times did a character say "she's so small, like a little girl?" Five?) The reporter character was such a Mary-Sue in every scene it was cringeworthy. The second two movies are composed almost entirely of scowls and sighs interrupted by the occasional unbelievable fight scene with a magical albino ogre.

Limitless: I actually really, really liked this, even though there were plot holes you could drive a truck through. I mean, seriously, you just got hold of a drug that makes you smart, and the first thing, the very first thing you do is something other than finding a way to secure a continuing supply? This is basic "your first wish is for more wishes" stuff. Also, when he didn't pay the mobster back, I didn't even notice because I thought "of course he paid the mobster back, they just didn't bother mentioning that because not doing that would be so stupid", but no, the whole movie hinges on these two moronic decisions and almost lost me because of it. But it was fun anyway. I also really liked the "smart-vision" visual effect; it reminded me a bit of how they handled that in Brainstorm.

In Time: Likewise, a really enjoyable movie with some truly epic plot holes. In particular, how am I supposed to believe that someone who has successfully spent the last 50 or 100 years preventing their clock from reaching zero would be capable of getting so distracted that they just happened to let it run out and drop dead? This happens more than once and it's crazy. Also the hyperinflationary economic controls seemed more than a little confused. But, a fun flick nonetheless.

Triangle: I didn't know anything about this when I started watching it, and that's a good way to go in. It starts off seeming like it's going to be a "stranded at sea" movie, then it starts looking like "ghost ship", then maybe time travel, but really it turns out to be [REDACTED]. The structure of it was interesting enough that when I got to the end, I went back and watched the beginning again to see how it all fit together.

Apollo 18: This was like watching the last 10 minutes of The Blair Witch Project over and over again. In space. Absolutely nothing happens, and then they're eaten by shaky-cam, the end.

Super 8: This was kind of cute. It was basically a remake of ET, but JJ Abrams is less of a schmaltzy, pandering hack than Spielberg is, so it came out better.

Cowboys and Aliens: This is a thing that happened. I think I enjoyed it while it was on, but now I can't actually remember a thing about it, except blue LEDs and Harrison Ford scowling a lot.

Drive: Speaking of scowling a lot, was this some kind of dare, to see if you could make a movie where the lead never moves his face even once? Was this movie actually about Ambien? It wasn't bad, but man, the flat affect of the whole thing was kinda goofy. I guess it's not the first time "vacant" has been mistaken for "deep".

The Thing: Ok, technically it's a prequel, not a remake, except for, you know, having the same plot as the previous movie, and worse effects. Spend the time you would have spent fast-forwarding through this reading The Things by Peter Watts instead.

Captain America distinguishes itself by being a movie about killing Nazis that doesn't actually have any Nazis in it. It has nothing to recommend it. It was the "Muppet Babies" version of Inglorious Basterds.

X Men: First Class is a dimwitted remake of X Men starring Wesley Crusher instead of Jean-Luc Picard. (And I mean Wesley, not Wil!) So if that sounds like a good idea to you, by all means.

Immortals: I'd have assumed that I wouldn't give a shit whether a Tarsem Singh movie had a plot, because they're just so damned pretty, but this movie was awful and boring. He was really slumming here.

My Name is Bruce: You might be under the impression that Bruce Campbell is incapable of being anything but charming and funny. This will break you of that.

Underworld 4, I guess? I remember liking the first one, but there aren't enough vinyl catsuits in the world to make this one watchable. Also: Precocious Child.

Similarly, I tried to watch The Three Musketeers, the "steampunk" one, because I was exceptionally drunk and Milla Jovovich is in it and there are blimps. It seemed like a solid line of reasoning at the time, but evidence suggests that there is literally not enough alcohol in the world for me to make it through the first fifteen minutes.

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