Instead of an ear-piercing wail, the device unleashes the chemical compound allyl isothiocyanate, which gives horseradish, mustard, and wasabi their bite. A red LED on the alarm also starts flashing when smoke is detected.
In tests on sleeping people with normal or no hearing, the device woke nearly all subjects up within two and a half minutes after the stench hit their nostrils. Further tests determined the ideal intensity of airborne wasabi to wake people up but not hurt their eyes in the process.
"Australian Classification Board (ACB) is now banning depictions of small-breasted women in adult publications and films. They banned mainstream pornography from showing women with A-cup breasts, apparently on the grounds that they encourage paedophilia, and in spite of the fact this is a normal breast size for many adult women. Presumably small breasted women taking photographs of themselves will now be guilty of creating simulated child pornography, to say nothing of the message this sends to women with modestly sized chests or those who favour them. Australia has also banned pornographic depictions of female ejaculation, a normal orgasmic sexual response in many women, with censors branding it as 'abhorrent.'"
Dear DirecTV: FIRE YOUR WEB SITE STAFF.
Oh wait, you must have ALREADY DONE THAT. There's no other possible explanation for how it could possibly be this bad. Even BANKS do a better job than this. They're not exactly known for being forward thinking and cutting edge.
If there was ever something that more clearly said, "cancel your service and just torrent everything from now on", it is the 30 minutes I just wasted trying to change my service to something that costs a few bucks less a month by leaving out channels that I never watch and never wanted in the first place!
Every time I click a link, it makes me log in again. The first three times it did that, it also tried to make me fill out a pointless "security question", before finally insisting on it on the third try. SPOILER ALERT: for all intents and purposes, my first pet was named "Foo". There, now you all know.
Every time I click "Select" on the "packages" page, it waits FIVE MINUTES before telling me "Sorry, you package could not be changed, call customer service." And before you downgrade your package to one that doesn't include them, it won't even tell you how much per month they charge to add HBO, etc. back. So it's not even clear whether downgrading to omit the 50 to 100 channels that I don't want will save me anything. (That part I assume is by design. Hostile, customer-hating design.)
YOU ARE BUFFOONS! Your industry is dying and it is your own god damned fault.
It's been a while; time to shed some followers.
"But at rallies in the night with all the torches burning bright, I feel a stirring in me that I can't neglect..."
While dancing back to front, all dancers must remain upright - no sexual bending is allowed. Examples are, no hands on knees, and no hands on the dance floor with your buttocks touching your dance partner. There will be no touching of the breasts, buttocks or genitals. There will be no straddling of each others' legs. Both feet must remain on the dance floor at all times. Students will be given wrist bands at the door. One warning results in a teacher cutting off the wrist band. A student dancing inappropriately with no wrist band will be asked to leave the dance. This may result in loss of dance privileges for the year.
The dance will be videotaped to insure the safety of all students attending.