Update: watch, with horror, the commercial.
I, for one, welcome our sexy new Cthuloid spokesmodels...
Ia Ia Cthulhu Ftagn, yadda yadda yadda...
unless that pair of panties or whatever they are were wet and froze to the icecube.. in another 15 seconds the next photo would have been sprawled bleeding from the head after it slipped off the corner of the melty cube.
Maybe she has suckers on her butt.
or perhaps there is a butt-plug ice piton
Or Sphincter Dentada.
That's not a nice way to refer to Orangina's marketing department!
Gives new meaning to leaving assholebites in the upholstery, eh?
no, she's ectothermic! gives her at least another minute or so...
Who comes up with this stuff? This is supposed to make me want to drink soda?? Or is this cthuloid drinking soda after having eaten someone for dinner?
Orangina = High fructose corn syrup swill
Izze Sparkling Clementine = Fizzy orange juicy goodness
I agree. Calling it "sugar water" is a misnomer. Sugar water is much healthier.
It's still sugar, not HFCS, in France where these ads are.
I fully approve. I can even see the letters "S-E-X" lightly shaded into the ice cubes.
Apophenia can be a wonderful thing.
There is nothing subliminal about that ad.
To my astonishment, this is for real. My amazement was so great I underwent the torment of their flash-based website, and this is absolutely for real.
Cactus Girl vs. Octopus Girl.
Wow. It's like Querelle gone horribly, horribly wrong.
It's not like it went intensely right the first time, to be honest.
Looks like we just lost the war against the furries.
Dude, culture lost the war on fandom a long time ago. Even the evangelicals read slash.
First we ignore them, then we laugh at them, then we fight them...
...then, apparently, they get jobs in marketing.
I need to get the pictures downloaded off of my camera. I have a shot of a Paris Metro station from a few weeks ago where every ad. on the opposite platform is one of the new Orangina ads. I think it included the deer, bear, giraffe, cactus, and one other than I can't remember right now.
The bear looks like something escaped from a furry CGI film....between the muscles and the g-string.
Aw, the winamp skin is unavailable, but you can still get the "screen mate". (Ew.)
The bear and hyena ones are creepy as hell. I am in awe of the French.
Have you seen the video?
My nipples explode with Orangina!
the desire to say something clever is muted by silent astonishment.
Did you see the boob-squeeze part?
Not just furries. Furries with a lactation fetish.
With the part of mother's milk played by high fructose corn syrup.
My favourite part is the ejaculating phallic bottles. :)
My favorite part is the bukkake girl shown frames after the ejaculating phallic bottles.
And by "favorite", of course, I mean "I can't scrub the images out of my mind".
Look, I really like(d) the French. Champagne! Camembert! But now I see the error of my ways. We must nuke France into a glowing hold in the ground.
Curses. The internet culture is feeding back into mainstream culture.
I have always wondered what the next generation of children would do to piss off their parents. Loud music, piercings, mohawks - those have all been done. Alas, I think you've found the answer.
The teenagers of tomorrow will be wearing T-shirts of Goatse man and Tubgirl. Damn.
The only thing more disturbing than actually watching this video, is the realization that somewhere furries are jacking it to the very same soft drink commercial.
What, are you kidding?
We have non-mainstream notions of sexual attractiveness. That doesn't mean we have no taste.
Is PZ Myers doing your blog this week?
I'm disappointed; the breasts only have one nipple each.
Are you sure that's a nipple and not a sucker?
"In Soviet Russia, breast sucks you!"
I was freaked out a bit to find that they bothered to put in visible nipples.
Not as much as I am for realizing that she likely not only has a beak, but a single vagina/mouth/anus opening (which I'm sure is someone's fetish... I just think it means less variety). So not only are those panties totally pointless, but vagina dentata doesn't even begin to describe what would happen to someone trying to get in on that.
what comes to my mind is the ad campaign from frÃ©dÃ©ric beigbeder's book "99 francs" (i highly recommend reading it).
I am ashamed that I recently bought Orangina for the first time in years. Now they are going to think this worked.
I tried to shrink it to under 100x100 and 40K so that it will work as an LJ userpic, but I failed. Maybe someone else will succeed.
On the upside, being forced to watch that over and over again has at least shown that she's not lactating fizzy, yellow flavourings, but is instead squashing citrus fruit against her mammaries.
Her...mammaries. On a squid-thing. Which is not a mammal. Hmm.
here you go:
This one is 38.5 kb. (jdev led me here.)
This is less surprising when you consider the product is named after a portmanteau of Orange and vagina.
I like to think there's a reason for it other than furry fandom, but that's probably because I'm in denial that something so fucking perverted could ever be mainstream enough to be a national advertising campaign in a major European country.
My French friend says that anything with breasts will sell well in France. This does not explain the need for animals and plants!
If it was just the octopus, it could almost be understood, because the standard Orangina marketing is "regardez, il a la pulpe d'orange". The french word for octopus is poulpe. A witty splash of wordplay. But unless the word for "fizzy drink" is girafe, cactus, ours or lionne, I'm not buying it.
The commercial is like a night at the DNA Lounge.
I have a feeling you're generating more publicity for this product than the gimmick ever will.
I also have a feeling that nobody he sees this "publicity" will want to purchase Orangina.
Yeah, nobody that reads jwz's digests.
But soon these images will appear in other places, creating a chain reaction...and Orangina is a top selling beverage.
I don't think that Orangina has an official mascot. If you go to the site, they have various...creatures roaming around. And a cactus.