all your guys can wear kitty ears and do an act called "the fat cats" where you start out in speedos, and glue money to yourselves. The corporate set would love that.
Adding entertainment to the list of things you make so easy as to be a "no-brainer" seems like a "no-brainer".
What about non-off-night events for small-enough events? Set aside space. Let proceedings start early and drift into the public event. Sponsorship: can't afford to rename the ball-park? How about naming a night at DNA?
For that matter, and less on the "corp. events" topic -- you generate a certain amount of content with decent licensing. Um..., say, I might be able (mostly by pointing at various providers but maybe by middlemanning a little bit) to help connect that to some production, reproduction mfg. and distribution, and mktg services. (I'd personally rather be in talent discovery/development/production but, roughly in the same sense I'd rather be a really kick-ass guitar player/front-man :-)
Make up several hundred 8.5"x5.5" flyers on light card-stock, and contact the food delivery shops (aka, pizza shops) that delivery to the neighbourhoods where said corporate bigwigs live/work. Make arrangements to have them include one of your flyers with each order, in exchange for some perk (recommending their store when customers ask, giving some discount to the manager, stuff like that).
Make sure that they consider the deal worthwhile, although being a bar gives you an advantage here. Consider letting the shop in on the deal (making and delivering the food for the event), as this is probably the best way to get them actively promoting you. Franchises are compared on their sales numbers, and an extra hundred in sales is worth it to them.
The flyer should be a package deal at some fixed price ("totally easy", emphasize the price). Don't do something silly like requiring them to have the flyer to get the deal.
This will be effective as long as they're only already sending one or two flyers (their own coupons generally). (Reply to this
both in this thread are good ideas but... you have to watch out because there are gazillions of little "good ideas" in marketing for small/medium businesses and you might be surprised how rapidly printing up cards or taking out ads can turn into a huge money pit. So, you think, well, just monitor what works -- apply the scientific method. Yes, but, that ain't free either. Think tiny, tiny margins and then let the product designs inform the choices. A common rule of thumb is to pick a commonly-accepted best-practices mktg. budget, meditate a lot, and then take crap-shoots. Being wise to the world as jwz is, he's (evidently) not bad at all at picking horses.
Hey, this could be a new blog! Let's all dissect the DNA business model!
I've been suckling the Bay Area corporate teat for a couple decades, as a contractor who's seen dozens of diverse shops. The one constant is that when the facilities manager or exec admin is told to plan an event, they go the same place they would if they need something for their car or an extra freezer: Craigslist. Nobody bothers with paper anything.
I'm joking about the 10%. Please post here weekly. Seriously. Is there any reason not to? It's free, anonymizes your email, and you can ad your best photos and kilobytes of text with your rates and everything. I'm sure you know how ingrained Craigslist is around here. No way will you regret it.
I like the YouTube thingie. I just wish there was a clip of "East West" on YouTube because it would be *much* better promo for the Armageddon Dildos show than "In My Mind".
Just make a nice presentation package and send it to all the HR offices around SF and Silicon Valley. Use all that icky corporate-speak about how they need to "think outside the box" and "shake things up to boost morale" and show lots of color, glossy photos of beautiful people partying it up with blue and orange mixed drinks. Then create a couple "party packages" (drinks/catering/dj at a certain price) and give them stupid, catchy names. I'm serious. It'll make you want to go fumigate yourself, but at the same time I bet you'll get at least one corporate party. Then it's just word of mouth through the cubicles ...
because that wouldn't at all rapidly devolve into nauseating SV-style incestual disfunctionalism.
Well, it would in most cases. And then there's the "professionals" who can reliably increase yr bookings for 6m, collecting a premium fee based on projections that assume that growth (and collect a bonus for the 6m result), using techniques that trash your brand down the road.
I mean yes, but, no, but, yes. Nothing is easy in retail.
Burlesque shows make excellent entertainment for coporate parties.
I'm just sayin'.
all your guys can wear kitty ears and do an act called "the fat cats" where you start out in speedos, and glue money to yourselves. The corporate set would love that.
"+1"
Adding entertainment to the list of things you make so easy as to be a "no-brainer" seems like a "no-brainer".
What about non-off-night events for small-enough events? Set aside space. Let proceedings start early and drift into the public event. Sponsorship: can't afford to rename the ball-park? How about naming a night at DNA?
For that matter, and less on the "corp. events" topic -- you generate a certain amount of content with decent licensing. Um..., say, I might be able (mostly by pointing at various providers but maybe by middlemanning a little bit) to help connect that to some production, reproduction mfg. and distribution, and mktg services. (I'd personally rather be in talent discovery/development/production but, roughly in the same sense I'd rather be a really kick-ass guitar player/front-man :-)
-t
I like how the "why don't corporations like us" is adjacent to a post with a woman drinking blood from a skull.
W.A.S.C.P.
We
Are
Satan's
(Corporate)
People
Nice Dildos YouTube link - thanks!
what can you do for 20 and a 4000 budget including dinner?
Devilettes video doesn't allow embedding. try clicking it.
Wow, that's awesome: "Please don't promote us!"
Roger. Wilco.
Make up several hundred 8.5"x5.5" flyers on light card-stock, and contact the food delivery shops (aka, pizza shops) that delivery to the neighbourhoods where said corporate bigwigs live/work. Make arrangements to have them include one of your flyers with each order, in exchange for some perk (recommending their store when customers ask, giving some discount to the manager, stuff like that).
Make sure that they consider the deal worthwhile, although being a bar gives you an advantage here. Consider letting the shop in on the deal (making and delivering the food for the event), as this is probably the best way to get them actively promoting you. Franchises are compared on their sales numbers, and an extra hundred in sales is worth it to them.
The flyer should be a package deal at some fixed price ("totally easy", emphasize the price). Don't do something silly like requiring them to have the flyer to get the deal.
This will be effective as long as they're only already sending one or two flyers (their own coupons generally).
(Reply to this
Paper is so second millennium.
Recommend regular posts to Craigslist: Nothing found for that search and you should be here too.
Please donate 10% of the profits from this brilliant suggestion to me. Thanks in advance.
both in this thread are good ideas but... you have to watch out because there are gazillions of little "good ideas" in marketing for small/medium businesses and you might be surprised how rapidly printing up cards or taking out ads can turn into a huge money pit. So, you think, well, just monitor what works -- apply the scientific method. Yes, but, that ain't free either. Think tiny, tiny margins and then let the product designs inform the choices. A common rule of thumb is to pick a commonly-accepted best-practices mktg. budget, meditate a lot, and then take crap-shoots. Being wise to the world as jwz is, he's (evidently) not bad at all at picking horses.
Hey, this could be a new blog! Let's all dissect the DNA business model!
-t
I've been suckling the Bay Area corporate teat for a couple decades, as a contractor who's seen dozens of diverse shops. The one constant is that when the facilities manager or exec admin is told to plan an event, they go the same place they would if they need something for their car or an extra freezer: Craigslist. Nobody bothers with paper anything.
I'm joking about the 10%. Please post here weekly. Seriously. Is there any reason not to? It's free, anonymizes your email, and you can ad your best photos and kilobytes of text with your rates and everything. I'm sure you know how ingrained Craigslist is around here. No way will you regret it.
I like the YouTube thingie. I just wish there was a clip of "East West" on YouTube because it would be *much* better promo for the Armageddon Dildos show than "In My Mind".
By which she means "Thanks for doing that, it was very kind of you jwz!"
Hey, he gave me the good Captain Morgan once. I'll always be grateful after that.
Just make a nice presentation package and send it to all the HR offices around SF and Silicon Valley. Use all that icky corporate-speak about how they need to "think outside the box" and "shake things up to boost morale" and show lots of color, glossy photos of beautiful people partying it up with blue and orange mixed drinks. Then create a couple "party packages" (drinks/catering/dj at a certain price) and give them stupid, catchy names. I'm serious. It'll make you want to go fumigate yourself, but at the same time I bet you'll get at least one corporate party. Then it's just word of mouth through the cubicles ...
That would be nothing at all like working in the tech industry and would not in any way negate the choice to switch industries.
It's amazing how close the dark side always is, isn't it?
The embedded YouTube clips are brilliant, I think.
Have you thought of hiring a professional to do your corporate bookings? You might even be able to get one to work on commision.
because that wouldn't at all rapidly devolve into nauseating SV-style incestual disfunctionalism.
Well, it would in most cases. And then there's the "professionals" who can reliably increase yr bookings for 6m, collecting a premium fee based on projections that assume that growth (and collect a bonus for the 6m result), using techniques that trash your brand down the road.
I mean yes, but, no, but, yes. Nothing is easy in retail.
-t
Are you still restricted from letting minors in the building?
Yes, but hopefully that will change some time this year.
Why change it? You can't make much money off people who don't buy booze.
May I humbly suggest moving the navigation to the right side?
are you smoking crack?
If he'd done that, I'd have to go and beat him. Thankfully he's not a idiot.
Maybe thats why nobody else suggested it.
But you have to admit that moving the navigation to the right side solves the empty space on the left side issue quite nicely.
In the same way you can cure a headache by cutting off your head, sure.
That analogy would better fit the suggestion of getting rid of the navigation all together.
The DNA isn't exactly a HoJo. Aren't you already one strike down with your dark, gritty and industrial aesthetic?