I, for one, welcome our new reptilian savior


"Our Lady of the Reptoids"


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Virgin Komodo dragon is expecting
Flora, a pregnant Komodo dragon living in a British zoo, is expecting eight babies in what scientists said on Wednesday could be a Christmas virgin birth.

Flora has never mated, or even mixed, with a male dragon, and fertilized all the eggs herself, a process culminating in parthenogenesis, or virgin birth. Other lizards do this, but scientists only recently found that Komodo dragons do too.

"Those genetic tests confirmed absolutely that Flora was both the mother and the father of the embryos. It completely blew us away because it [parthenogenesis] has never been seen in such a large species," Buley explained. "God is not mocked," he added. "He knows our business."

"The genetics of self-fertilization in lizards means that all her hatchlings would have to be male. These would grow up to mate with their own mother and therefore, within one generation, there would potentially be a population able to reproduce normally on the new island," Buley said.

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Current Music: well, obviously

19 Responses:

  1. great, now that song will be stuck in my head for a week.

  2. pyrop says:

    This is clearly how Raptor Jesus came to be.

  3. ultranurd says:

    Hmmm... thanks to that music video, I think I finally understand the origins of the look of Damodar from the Dungeons and Dragons movie.

  4. nomenklatura says:

    Sometimes nature amazes me more than usual.

  5. j_v_lynch says:

    At least this time God is sending multiple backups.

  6. autodidactic says:

    And the sleestak shall inherit the earth...

  7. this is undisputable proof that God supports incest.

    • jwz says:

      I know you all watch south park! I get it! I get it! Good for you!

      I don't watch it.

      Shockingly, that means I don't care to read about it on Wikipedia either.

      Fuckin' knock it off already.

      • kutuz_off says:

        Tough luck. This very episode happened to be on tonight here in NYC.

        • jwz says:

          "Tough luck"? Is that how they spell "go ahead and ban me now" in your language?

          • kutuz_off says:

            No, that's how I spell "unfortunately for you, by a somewhat unlikely coincidence, this happened, and it may have induced a barrage of similar comments".

            • sherbooke says:

              I'm with JWZ on this one. I've just spent a year sharing a house with someone whose tv habits revolved around the Hitler Channel and fucking Southpark. He didn't cleave to my view that SP is the biggest load of self-indulgent shite ever perpetrated; death-threats were bandied at one stage.

              • chaoset says:

                While I would disagree with you to an extent about South Park, I can certainly see how that would get irritating. My suggestion? Start playing some good old fashioned japa-noise while he's watching it.

                • baldnate says:

                  Seems like a waste of good Merzbow.

                  • chaoset says:

                    Not if the enemy is unfamiliar with japa-noise. Invest in a good pair of ear plugs and then turn that up loud enough to drown out the enemy's programs.

                    (As an aside: I don't really care for the little Merzbow that I've heard. I prefer to have a least a little structure to whatever I'm listening to. Dissecting Table, on the other hand...)

  8. pvck says:

    Apparently that joke just sort of bursts from the mass consciousness. I had seen this previously, and I was in the middle of typing "Karma could take that lizard at any moment" and trying to work in "breath of reptiles" when I realized you had already taken care of that.

    Curse you, jwz, always one step ahead of me!

  9. lherrera says:

    I find highly amusing a real scientist quoting Jeff Goldblum.

  10. luserspaz says:

    virgin birth + incest => "reproduce normally"

    Hooray for nature!